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An atheist was out rowing on Loch Ness when the monster came up and almost capsized his boat. The rower shouted "God help me!" The Lord came down and chased the monster away. He turned to the rower and said, "Why did you call for help from me? You don't even believe in me." The rower said, "Fair go, 10 minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster."

Yesterday I had a calibration appointment for my Cochlear implant. It started with the audiologist connecting the device to her computer and playing a range of beeps at various frequencies, starting too low to hear, and increasing them until they were at a comfortable volume. She then read out a number of words from a printed list of about 30, with her face obscured, and I had to locate the word on the list and repeat it without being able to lip-read. Passed that without problem. Next, she placed a page of 12 half sentences in front of me. Again, obscuring her face, she read out the full sentence which I had to repeat back to her. The example I recall was: Printed: She cleaned the floor.... The spoken sentence: She cleaned the floor with a mop and broom. I passed all 12 sentences at the first attempt. She said she normally doesn't get to pulling that page out until the second month. I've had the device for 9 days. I can now hold conversations, watch the TV, and talk on the phone without the hearing aid in the other ear.

Trump's limo driver got arrested for possession of drugs. They found over 230 pounds of dope in the back seat.

An Airline Pilot I once knew went into a Hardware store dressed like that and Ordered a Bottle of Methylated spirits. He rubbed it fondly and asked "I don't suppose you Have a COLD one , do you?" Nev

I distract them by throwing in a packet of condoms.

So its trully terrible then.

I call a big fat bullshit to almost everthing Musk says and does. I dont see his flying car as anything but hyper marketing that will be nothing like the car that is on sale. The acceleration is technically possible but highly suspect. Some hyper electric cars can do a sub 2 sec claimed to 100, the worlds fastest is 1 sec and thats a special electric hyper go cart of small size and massive short term power. Its drivers report a very scary drive and G block would be a thing if not for the very short drive time. This is more that F1 acceleration. Anything under 3 secs is extreme acceleration and requires great skill to safely use and the right conditions. My BMW bike is capable of 2.6 sec to 100kmh and that feels extreme and keeps rocketing once you get past that. 80kmh overtaking can easily be 160 if passing a truck in mere seconds, any car capable of that type acceleration would be deadly in most hands. We absolutely do not need more cars like Musk is pushing. On to the flying claims- absolute bullshit. The "car" that had rockets and apparently suction fans seems fake. Yes, the fans are possible as they are proven on the Mcmurty Sperling, but thats a track dedicated single seater and relies on pressure gradient to suck it to a surface. It has no rockets, and as soon a ground\surface contact is lost, so is the suction. I would think the flying one is a 200-300kg dummy made of carbon with thrusters and fans or even a electromagnet on the track it climbs and clings to. It falls and moves to smoothly in the video to be realistic. Or a hidden arm not seen on camera, I am sure his AI could hide the arm. I think its just a big bullshit campaign to push share prices and way overpromise as per normal. I await years of promises, lost money and then followed by claims that the FAA banned it because it could "really Fly".

Here is a Google AI search of car age on Australias roads Fleet Age Breakdown National Fleet Average: 11.54 years Passenger Vehicles Average: Roughly 11.2 to 11.4 years Oldest State/Territory Fleet: Tasmania (average age of 13.5 years) Youngest State/Territory Fleet: Australian Capital Territory (average age of 10.4 years) [1, 2] Fleet Composition & Stats Total Registered Vehicles: Over 22.3 million motor vehicles across Australia New Vehicle Turnover: About 25% of vehicles are under 5 years old, while around 27% are older than 10 years. No Road Salting Effect: Because Australia does not salt its roads in winter, vehicles suffer far less rust damage, allowing older cars to stay functional and look newer longer on Reddit. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Cynic! Yes there are lots of similar crazies out there. And the fact that such examples are so easy to find, means that there are also statistically significant multitudes of slightly less laughable examples as well. Still indicates all is lost. I will match your cynicism and dig a pit of utter distain beneath it.

The problem really is that it is a hybrid, designed to appeal to those with a fear of full electric and rusted on range anxiety. A hybrid is the worst of both worlds. The battery is small so the electric range is woeful. The ICE engine is also small so needs to work hard to replace the energy drain from the battery. Charging a battery from an ICE engine is very inefficient. It has all the disadvantages of every ICE engined vehicle of consuming fossil fuel including maintenance and complexity. How this bloke with the Shark got 24 litres/100k crossing the great dividing range which is essentially up hill overall and 44 on the flat doesn't add up. Was he driving in to a 50-80kmh headwind on the flat with a big flat fronted 3 tonne caravan? You cannot regenerate anywhere near the energy going downhill lost going uphill to the top. Only a long sustained down hill run will increase the energy level of the battery.

True, But he is dragging the Tasmania govt into huge debt and letting corporate mates get free reign over public assets. So the whole country will pay via federal bailouts for things like the aluminium smelter and all sorts of dodgy shit. Bet they ask for a bigger GST slice plus more health and education funding to cover their arse. A blind dog could manage a economy better.

My Prado diesel tows my van at 15-16 l/100km.

I can remember it was fairly common for old blokes to live permanently at a pub in one of the rooms. Often WW1 vets. When I was growing up we had one old fella living permanently in our local pub. He had the nickname Woody as he used to chop the pub's firewood and do odd jobs for his board and lodging. He didn't drink, just lived at the pub. Woody was a lovely old bloke, a real gentleman. I got to know him quite well as he used to come out to the farm and stay and look after us if my dad had to go away for a couple of days. In those days the adults would go to the pub and take all the kids with them. Us kids would play around in the pub's backyard and climb the big tree there and at some stage we'd always end up going to see Woody in his room and have a yarn with him. After I'd moved away as a late teenager/early adult, whenever I was back visiting my dad I'd often drop in and see old Woody at the pub. Eventually he got so old and frail he ended up in a home.

Although it is Tazmania, the sun came out. Nice pleasant day. Bike hasn't run since last summer - no reason to ride for pleasure when it's raining for 3 months. Great to be alive riding our winding roads! Got home to find that old faithful had contracted Jerry's disease. I noticed the instrument lights were pulsing at idle. A quick check showed battery voltage only 12.8v after a big run. Should be 14v. Another check showed onr phase from the alternator at 0v. and the regulator running hot. Ordering a new stator and regulator. A bit of a dampener.

Perhaps the 2PP concept is out of date. The Greens, ON, Teals and unaligned Independents may be changing that. Perhaps we could end up like some European countries where no Party can gain a majority and must seek coalition partners, thereby watering down each Party's raison d'etre.

Angus doesn't have much going for him.

Now he wants an Ocean to be named after him. Starts a war he says he has won more than 63 times but can't stop. Hasn't stopped any wars but wants the Nobel peace prize & is cuddling up to Putin because his efforts have stuffed the entire Diesel supply & says Zelenskyy should go because Ukraine is stuffing up Russias petroleum industry & the US is running short of Diesel because of the war he started. He is a complete & utter fruit loop with no redeeming features at all but millions of stupid MAGA nutters believe all of it.

Angus Is both a swary consultant and a farmer, and dodgy as hell in both roles. He has broken the law heaps of times and as they were in power got to keep the grubby gains. Look up Jamland - profit from breaking environmental laws Also a big water deal that miracously changed directors from him to a Taxhaven just before his government paid millions for water that didn't exist. Barnaby was also involved.

He's just blasted Norway in a speech because they didn't give him the Nobel Peace Prize. He said he deserved it for stopping eight wars plus two more which he says he will wrap up very soon, including the one he started although he didn't mention that. What a loser. It's hard to believe that this moron is the US president. https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckgj921e14jdo

You've got our attention. Love sitting on the sidelines and following the thought processes. Keep us posted!

Got your attention though hasn't it? Nev

Is that a useful vehicle, or just another vanity wankmobile?

What is the difference between a French Kiss and an Australian Kiss? An Australian Kiss is down under.

Can you tell the difference?

The Dems don't seem to promote any meaningful platform. The most they are offering is 'Vote for us to make things like they used to be'. Are they forgetting that the Trump led Republican administration got elected because the public don't want the previous style of corruption and warmongering? Sure it isn't draining the swamp. But will a Dem win be enough to bring about a shift away from billionaire controlled government?

I think the Republicans realise they will lose the House, but Trump will do everything he can to hold onto the Senate. If the Democrats win the Senate as well, they will be in a much stronger position to make his life miserable. My concern is that the Democrats are so focused on campaigning against Trump that they haven't figured out what they're actually for and what they would do to turn the ship around, so nothing much will get done for the next two years.

HIS team are really "Freaked out" about the Mid terms. There might even be a few who do a runner to get away from the Courts. I wouldn't be surprised if DT did something dramatic and uses it to Declare a National Emergency and declare Martial Law.. Desperate people do desperate THINGS. Nev

Apparently Now, Most Food companies are also Chemical companies. More Adulteration in everything. Depleted soil produces crook Vegetables and vegetable varieties are down 90% from what they were 80 years ago. Processed Food can Be hardly food at all. SALT FAT and SUGAR makes up a lot of it.. Nev

Interesting figures which few Down-Southers would realise. Re the Constitution Sections 121 and 124. Both have big hurdle words - 'may' and 'consent'. It takes a lot to get over them, especially when Sect 124 means that Lower Queensland would lose a motza in royalties etc.

The chairman ( He who gets the Chairs) at the MEN'S Shed ( It's HIS shed) has a Geely Ev and a new Hip and It's ON tomorrow. The Men's shed. Whoopey! Another Member Swapped his Volvo for a Geely Hybrid. No money changed hands. My solution has been at a lot lower level. A bit of overdue TLC for MY 1998 AU Fairmont with 367,000 Kms and runs on GAS at 1$ / Litre, Never garaged. It's probably running better than it ever has. The motor turns over about one turn to start and makes NO clicking Noises. It's good enough for me. (AND the Dogs). Nev

But back then they wer giving away the fuel when you compare price per gallon then and now (and allowing for inflation).

I don't tow caravans, nor have a big ute, but I suspect that an acceptable fuel consumption for an ICE towing a typical caravan would be in the range of 13 to 18 litres per 100 km. That's why the figure in the 40s was such a shock. I really don't think that these massive EVs are suitable for towing much more than a tradies' trailer. I don't mean to be nasty about them, but it's always horses for courses when selecting a tool to do a job.

Definitely a good memory. I remember him on Pick-a-Box correcting Bob Dyer when Bob said his answer was wrong.

It's Barry Jones, Pick A Box wizard and Labor politition.

Beautiful old F-5 Ford with the original V8 flathead just listed on marketplace in Brisbane.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/2242806886285552

There's always a Wind on a Motorbike. It normally comes from the front. Don't ride when there's HAIL in it.. After a while, your wet weather Gear keeps the Water IN. Nev

With Many Years of flying into Cairns I can honestly say I've never encountered RAIN as Heavy in any other Place. You just marvel at How a Plane can even fly in it. And there's that Great Hill just to the west. Everything goes Mouldy. Gekko's on the roof upside down. The only place to be is in an airconditioned Bar. Humidity is 100%. Shorts worn half way down the Backside is De Riguere(sp). Nev

Great that you were out too Peter! The missus and I rode to Nicholls Rivulet to visit Crawleighwood Gardens. I agree, good day for it, would have been even nicer with no wind.

I think the House will go to the Democrats but the Senate is probably doubtful. I also think Trump and his minions are planning a lot of disruption in States that they look like losing. It won't be a clean election and the results will be disputed in the courts for weeks if not months. Trump will do everything he can to avoid losing and he has the Justice department, Russ Vought and a bunch of election deniers in influential federal and state positions to help him do it.

Could be the future. Some pollsters are now doing two alternative 2PP estimates, one Labor against ON and one Labor against Coalition dependant on who gets the top vote between ON and the Coalition. The poll analyst's job is getting harder.

How times have changed. I found this old photo taken of the welcome to Cairns sign on a road trip in 1976. Population 33,000, it's around 180,000 now. Cairns was a nice place in 1976 with a lot of character. I was also there in 1983 and it was much the same. The next time was 1998 and it was unrecognisable.

He's certainly unimpressive. I think there's no doubt Josh Frydenberg would be their leader if he'd retained his seat.

It's all hypothetical . Who is suggesting a Likely spill? Murdoch? To be the Leader, you have to retain your seat. LIBS / NATS have done that a few times. That would illustrate How out of touch the "Inner Sanctum is with the electors. The "SENATE" is different. Depending on the vote Tally. the LIST dictates How many of that Party will get Into the Senate and WHO they will be. Keating Used to refer to the Senate as "Unrepresentative SWILL" and HE had a Point there. . It's supposed to be the House of review. Many of them are Out and Out ratbags. Malcolm Roberts as a Prime example. Tasmania's Eric Abetz (still around) also. Nev

Jim Chalmers must be feeling its effects today. The "abolition" of credit card surcharges to make the coffee cheaper according to Albo resulted in the ATO scrapping taking credit card payments for tax. I am not sure, but I thought the treasurer would have been consulted before the ATO decided to scrap the ability to pay with a credit card, especially if so many small businesses rely on it - which is in itself a worrying sign. I am trying to work out if this is really unintended consequences or just incompetence. Here is my conspiracy theory. When a consumer is presented a bill at the counter, and they will be slugged a fee for using the credit card, unless they are broke or tempo short of cash on their debit card (assuming they are not going to cop a bigger charge on their debit card use), then they are likely not to use that credit card. That causes a bit of a headache to the credit card companies as that is less lending they are dolling out and less transaction surcharges they are making. So, maybe lobbying the government (and i have no evidence of this), they managed to persuade the government that not allowing credit card surcharges was in the consumer interest. Or maybe consumer groups took the kool-aid and suggested the same to the government - with good intentions. What people forget is that, especially for small businesses - these charges can be 3% + a minimum transaction fee. For small items like a coffee, that can be a bit of change per transaction for the flat fee. But, if a business can't charge a surcharge, they are left with two options: 1. absorb it because all small business owners are greedy bar stewards and want to fleece the public, right? Or two, just pass it on in increased prices - to everyone. But, that way, if you're tempted to use your credit card and avail yourself of the, is it 55 days interest free period, you will do it. The credit card companies still get some money and you're none the wiser. So, Albo spruiking the coffee being cheaper is not quite true and there were stories of before and after prices of the surcharge ban coming in was a biot of an own goal depending on where you purchased your coffee (and other things). Now, the ATO issue. I get that little issue of credit card surcharges on the tax payment may have slipped Chalmer's mind. I mean I am not sure he has had the experience of running a small business and the cash flow issues that come with that. I am not even sure he would have bothered to consult the ATO on the move because the ATO is about tax, and not credit card payments. But, surely, the ATO would have consulted Chalmers before making a unilateral decision to withdraw accepting credit cards if so many small businesses make their payments with credit cards. After all, the ATO just can't raise its prices. In which case, maybe Chalmers forgot to ask how many make the payments and how much is paid using credit cards. I would guess that the ATO would have presented it as, "Gee, boss. If we can't make credit card payment surcharges and unilaterally increase the corporate tax rate, GST, or whatever taxes are paid this way, then we will lose $xbn to the credit card companies." And everyone got fixated on the cost and not the impact. So rather than ask why that would be the case and what would be the impact of going ahead or not introducing a carve out for ATO payments (apart from that being political suicide), the ATO just went ahead - after all - they are a bit of a law unto themselves. Well, it has come to bite the government on the bum. In the scheme of things, not in a huge way, and it will all blow over - The problem is that the decision to allow credit card payments to be taken by the ATO will only be for a year. What then? But, this is an example in poor thinking. The idea that the surcharge would be a boon for consumers is a joke. Ye, only 17& of cafes in this case have unilaterally increased their prices - you can bet others will follow suit. Also, you don't, as a consumer get to take advantage of a lower price by not using cheaper forms of payment. How is that a boon for consumers? Yes, you coul argue it punishes those who are skint at the time.. Er.. if you;re skint, shouldn't you be paring back a bit anyway - using a credit card will just make you skinter. And you have just cut off an important cash flow management capability for small businesses. Well done. I used to have a small software reseller in Aus.. I can't recall if it was Westpac or Anz that provided the merchant facilities to take credit cards, but I recall in the contract, I couldn't apply surcharges (well it was worded I couldn't offer discounts to those not using a credit card that wasn't available to those who used credit cards, if I recall correctly). The transaction costs sometimes made a sale unprofitable when competing with the big fellas. I managed to eek out a living from it, but jeepers it was tough. And that was offering support to try and bring in some margin against the big fellas. Almost every consumer is cost conscious - one learns that very quickly despite what the text books say. I put these sorts of government decisions more to incompetence than to unintended consequences - but the latter is usually the result of the former.

The National party cares more about coal and gas than It does about Small Farmers. Nev

You always need to know Ground Height and your actual height to determine Height above ground. Putting in the Local area QNH, OR setting your altimeter to read the Aerodrome Height when you are on the ground will achieve that, and separate you from other traffic referencing the same Info. Nev.

How do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair? I find a toothpick does the trick.

It's a bit ironic when you have to bend down to pick up your pick up tool that you dropped.

And let's not forget, his last electoral win was the majority of people who turned out to vote... Not just the electoral colleges - but also the popular vote. I can't be arsed looking at what the voter turnout was, but if it was low, there were enough pricks who didn't care enough about it. (Remove from the USA population those who turned out to vote against him from the prick population of the USA). And for the context of being pricks, I include some good friends of mine in the USA who thought for some reason it was a good idea at the time.