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An atheist was out rowing on Loch Ness when the monster came up and almost capsized his boat. The rower shouted "God help me!" The Lord came down and chased the monster away. He turned to the rower and said, "Why did you call for help from me? You don't even believe in me." The rower said, "Fair go, 10 minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster."

I was going to ask abut you.. Glad you're still here. @red750 - First, it's good to hear he is well. Maybe you can entice him back by letting him know that the Block User feature works very well? Send him our best, anyway.

Yesterday I had a calibration appointment for my Cochlear implant. It started with the audiologist connecting the device to her computer and playing a range of beeps at various frequencies, starting too low to hear, and increasing them until they were at a comfortable volume. She then read out a number of words from a printed list of about 30, with her face obscured, and I had to locate the word on the list and repeat it without being able to lip-read. Passed that without problem. Next, she placed a page of 12 half sentences in front of me. Again, obscuring her face, she read out the full sentence which I had to repeat back to her. The example I recall was: Printed: She cleaned the floor.... The spoken sentence: She cleaned the floor with a mop and broom. I passed all 12 sentences at the first attempt. She said she normally doesn't get to pulling that page out until the second month. I've had the device for 9 days. I can now hold conversations, watch the TV, and talk on the phone without the hearing aid in the other ear.

Trump's limo driver got arrested for possession of drugs. They found over 230 pounds of dope in the back seat.

An Airline Pilot I once knew went into a Hardware store dressed like that and Ordered a Bottle of Methylated spirits. He rubbed it fondly and asked "I don't suppose you Have a COLD one , do you?" Nev

I distract them by throwing in a packet of condoms.

Yeah, and I squeezed my wife's Nair on my toothbrush because she put the tube next to the toothbrushes. Now I wear my reading glasses in the bathroom.

I received a welcome email from Cochlear Limited which included the following note from a user. “Don’t expect to hear speech right away. You will hear sounds. One needs to have patience because it can take a while to hear speech clearly. The learning curve is different for everyone. It depends on how much time and effort one puts into learning to hear with a cochlear implant. It’s not like a hearing aid where you will be able to hear instantly. The more you work at it, the more successful you will be.” – Cathy, who has a cochlear implant.

One of my pet peeves. What cruel b uses the smallest unreadable font on the bottle to give me the only information I need?

Here is a Google AI search of car age on Australias roads Fleet Age Breakdown National Fleet Average: 11.54 years Passenger Vehicles Average: Roughly 11.2 to 11.4 years Oldest State/Territory Fleet: Tasmania (average age of 13.5 years) Youngest State/Territory Fleet: Australian Capital Territory (average age of 10.4 years) [1, 2] Fleet Composition & Stats Total Registered Vehicles: Over 22.3 million motor vehicles across Australia New Vehicle Turnover: About 25% of vehicles are under 5 years old, while around 27% are older than 10 years. No Road Salting Effect: Because Australia does not salt its roads in winter, vehicles suffer far less rust damage, allowing older cars to stay functional and look newer longer on Reddit. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Cynic! Yes there are lots of similar crazies out there. And the fact that such examples are so easy to find, means that there are also statistically significant multitudes of slightly less laughable examples as well. Still indicates all is lost. I will match your cynicism and dig a pit of utter distain beneath it.

The problem really is that it is a hybrid, designed to appeal to those with a fear of full electric and rusted on range anxiety. A hybrid is the worst of both worlds. The battery is small so the electric range is woeful. The ICE engine is also small so needs to work hard to replace the energy drain from the battery. Charging a battery from an ICE engine is very inefficient. It has all the disadvantages of every ICE engined vehicle of consuming fossil fuel including maintenance and complexity. How this bloke with the Shark got 24 litres/100k crossing the great dividing range which is essentially up hill overall and 44 on the flat doesn't add up. Was he driving in to a 50-80kmh headwind on the flat with a big flat fronted 3 tonne caravan? You cannot regenerate anywhere near the energy going downhill lost going uphill to the top. Only a long sustained down hill run will increase the energy level of the battery.

True, But he is dragging the Tasmania govt into huge debt and letting corporate mates get free reign over public assets. So the whole country will pay via federal bailouts for things like the aluminium smelter and all sorts of dodgy shit. Bet they ask for a bigger GST slice plus more health and education funding to cover their arse. A blind dog could manage a economy better.

My Prado diesel tows my van at 15-16 l/100km.

I can remember it was fairly common for old blokes to live permanently at a pub in one of the rooms. Often WW1 vets. When I was growing up we had one old fella living permanently in our local pub. He had the nickname Woody as he used to chop the pub's firewood and do odd jobs for his board and lodging. He didn't drink, just lived at the pub. Woody was a lovely old bloke, a real gentleman. I got to know him quite well as he used to come out to the farm and stay and look after us if my dad had to go away for a couple of days. In those days the adults would go to the pub and take all the kids with them. Us kids would play around in the pub's backyard and climb the big tree there and at some stage we'd always end up going to see Woody in his room and have a yarn with him. After I'd moved away as a late teenager/early adult, whenever I was back visiting my dad I'd often drop in and see old Woody at the pub. Eventually he got so old and frail he ended up in a home.

Although it is Tazmania, the sun came out. Nice pleasant day. Bike hasn't run since last summer - no reason to ride for pleasure when it's raining for 3 months. Great to be alive riding our winding roads! Got home to find that old faithful had contracted Jerry's disease. I noticed the instrument lights were pulsing at idle. A quick check showed battery voltage only 12.8v after a big run. Should be 14v. Another check showed onr phase from the alternator at 0v. and the regulator running hot. Ordering a new stator and regulator. A bit of a dampener.

Perhaps the 2PP concept is out of date. The Greens, ON, Teals and unaligned Independents may be changing that. Perhaps we could end up like some European countries where no Party can gain a majority and must seek coalition partners, thereby watering down each Party's raison d'etre.

Angus doesn't have much going for him.

Now he wants an Ocean to be named after him. Starts a war he says he has won more than 63 times but can't stop. Hasn't stopped any wars but wants the Nobel peace prize & is cuddling up to Putin because his efforts have stuffed the entire Diesel supply & says Zelenskyy should go because Ukraine is stuffing up Russias petroleum industry & the US is running short of Diesel because of the war he started. He is a complete & utter fruit loop with no redeeming features at all but millions of stupid MAGA nutters believe all of it.

Angus Is both a swary consultant and a farmer, and dodgy as hell in both roles. He has broken the law heaps of times and as they were in power got to keep the grubby gains. Look up Jamland - profit from breaking environmental laws Also a big water deal that miracously changed directors from him to a Taxhaven just before his government paid millions for water that didn't exist. Barnaby was also involved.

He's just blasted Norway in a speech because they didn't give him the Nobel Peace Prize. He said he deserved it for stopping eight wars plus two more which he says he will wrap up very soon, including the one he started although he didn't mention that. What a loser. It's hard to believe that this moron is the US president. https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckgj921e14jdo

You've got our attention. Love sitting on the sidelines and following the thought processes. Keep us posted!

Not how it actually works. The problem was/is that when a business pays via a credit card it's the receiver that will pay the surcharge from the credit provider. This doesn't happen with direct transfer or debit cards. The card company charges not a flat fee but a % of the payment. Then it also hits the payer with interest. A normal transfer EFT or debit costs a fraction of a cent, hence the policy change. Thus the ATO was up for a minimum $200 million bill for accepting credit payments under the new system from all the small businesses. Should we the taxpayer subsidise small businesses to pay via credit? Also that they rely on a constant credit card rollover indicates poor practice and a susceptibility to failure. Business used similar scare stories about needing to pay superannuation employee contributions when they a paid wages rather than using employees money as a piggy bank for months. Similarly this practice could and did lead to companies going bust and super never been paid. Policy wise it was and is a smart move, as it will create a change in business practices. Certainly way too many firms have dodgy finances, and need culling. I bet the banks are spewing also about all the lost revenue from credit card taxation payments.

I have had hair in my teeth before ...more of a side effect from female pleasure.

Sounds a bit of a re-run of Hewson and the birthday cake.

That's only an admission that you blokes have been abusive. Too bad Onetrack didn't stay on, I could have told him about the latest developments with Veterans medical treatment which has been broadened and somewhat fast tracked. It's still a bit woeful and uncaring, but getting better after all the work that Veterans Associations have been putting in.

We grew up comparing the fuel consumption of vehicles in terms of volume per unit of distance - mpg or l/100km. From those figures we could work out how much it cost to travel a given distance. Now we are given the "fuel capacity" of an EV in kiloWatthours (kWh). Shouldn't electricity consumption figures be quoted in km/kWh? Here's an example: A vehicle can go 80 kms on a 30 kWh battery. That's 2.6 kms/kWh. One kWh costs, on average 30 cents. That's about 12 cents per km. Yes, I know. If you have your own solar generation the electricity allegedly costs nothing (ignoring set up costs for the solar system). But go away from home and you have to pay.

Yes. The person is a paraplegic, having been shot through the spine during the incident. Wouldn't look good shooting a cripple. Shades of the SS. Not the usual image of the condemned man backed up against a wall, being offered a last cigarette and a blindfold.

What is the difference between a French Kiss and an Australian Kiss? An Australian Kiss is down under.

Crazy cams

I think the Republicans realise they will lose the House, but Trump will do everything he can to hold onto the Senate. If the Democrats win the Senate as well, they will be in a much stronger position to make his life miserable. My concern is that the Democrats are so focused on campaigning against Trump that they haven't figured out what they're actually for and what they would do to turn the ship around, so nothing much will get done for the next two years.

HIS team are really "Freaked out" about the Mid terms. There might even be a few who do a runner to get away from the Courts. I wouldn't be surprised if DT did something dramatic and uses it to Declare a National Emergency and declare Martial Law.. Desperate people do desperate THINGS. Nev

Apparently Now, Most Food companies are also Chemical companies. More Adulteration in everything. Depleted soil produces crook Vegetables and vegetable varieties are down 90% from what they were 80 years ago. Processed Food can Be hardly food at all. SALT FAT and SUGAR makes up a lot of it.. Nev

It was 130/145 Avgas in most radial engines. You can't even get that Now. I started flying in 1959 and fuel was never cheap as far as I was concerned. Anyone who had a Big round motor up front Must have been rich in my view. I certainly wasn't. All of my Weekly income gave me an hour and a Half in the Air. when I started in a Chipmunk.. Nev

But back then they wer giving away the fuel when you compare price per gallon then and now (and allowing for inflation).

It's Barry Jones, Pick A Box wizard and Labor politition.

It would take a legal Expert to work that out. Way Beyond my pay grade. Nev

You didn't. I was acknowledging that such projects are like other art forms - it's not done for profit.

Great that you were out too Peter! The missus and I rode to Nicholls Rivulet to visit Crawleighwood Gardens. I agree, good day for it, would have been even nicer with no wind.

Abbah? Yeah they were gods.

Could be the future. Some pollsters are now doing two alternative 2PP estimates, one Labor against ON and one Labor against Coalition dependant on who gets the top vote between ON and the Coalition. The poll analyst's job is getting harder.

How times have changed. I found this old photo taken of the welcome to Cairns sign on a road trip in 1976. Population 33,000, it's around 180,000 now. Cairns was a nice place in 1976 with a lot of character. I was also there in 1983 and it was much the same. The next time was 1998 and it was unrecognisable.

It's all hypothetical . Who is suggesting a Likely spill? Murdoch? To be the Leader, you have to retain your seat. LIBS / NATS have done that a few times. That would illustrate How out of touch the "Inner Sanctum is with the electors. The "SENATE" is different. Depending on the vote Tally. the LIST dictates How many of that Party will get Into the Senate and WHO they will be. Keating Used to refer to the Senate as "Unrepresentative SWILL" and HE had a Point there. . It's supposed to be the House of review. Many of them are Out and Out ratbags. Malcolm Roberts as a Prime example. Tasmania's Eric Abetz (still around) also. Nev

Nah, People Love it. I wouldn't want to go to a Place that Has the death Penalty. It's state Sanctioned Murder. A poor example to exhibit, especially in a Country that Pretends to be Christian. Thou shalt NOT KILL. Also Let He who is without sin, Cast the first Stone, Judge NOT, Lest thee be judged. Nev

The immediate job in the project is to drop a possible contender engine in the bath for a couple of weeks. It's been in the weather for quite a while so could do with a good soak. While that's happening, it's back to the shed renovations so I can get the workshop better set up. It's got to the point of being barely functional and you probably wouldn't want to go in there without life insurance and a map to find your way back out. The main shed adjustments are to: refit a set of steel diagonal braces, and finish replacing some timber wall purlins with steel RHS that I have on hand. Then clean out enough floor space to pull a big heavy steel bench out and away from one wall section. Remove the steel diagonals from that section. Remove the cladding from the timber framed wall behind it. Run cyclone rods in that wall frame (it will be upgraded to a bracing wall to replace the bracing of the steel diagonals. The diagonals need to go to fit shelving flat against the bracing wall). Insulate the wall frame and clad it with bracing ply. Another 6 metre wall section that adjoins another shed section will be cladded in and a doorway blocked off in the process. Build another alternative access to the other shed section. The doorway is already there, I just need to build a ramp leading to it. That would just about finish the construction side of the shed. Then it's just a matter of fitting shelving, making some more benches, setting up the lathe, mill, bench grinders and all the other equipment in their permanent home, sorting out all the tools and bits and pieces and getting it looking like a workshop. Theoretically that should leave all the central shed floorspace free to start this project (and others). It all doesn't make much sense without photos.

Well, that's a good reason for the ATO to object. Can't complain about that can we? But for yonks the user of the credit card paid a surcharge to the retailer. Aldi has been doing that forever.

It's a bit ironic when you have to bend down to pick up your pick up tool that you dropped.

Takes care of your furry teeth!

Yeah, but you asked for it.