Gnu, nobody is perfect and like all of us, I've done and said a few things in my 6 or so decades that I am not particularly proud of and would change if I could. However, I'm also not looking for redemption. I'm prepared to accept responsibility for myself and whatever I've done wrong, and I'm not at all concerned about facing whatever the future may bring, if anything. I certainly don't feel the need to rely on a Saviour or anybody else to rescue me or forgive me my sins. Perhaps that's where you and I differ. Just for the record, I had a sound Catholic upbringing - head altar boy, regular church attendance, confession. etc. I gave it away in my teens when I grew old enough to start thinking for myself and question some of the things I'd been told all my life.
For instance, what do you think the average 7 year old has done that requires going to confession for the first time to ask forgiveness? All I could think of was pinching a tomato from the garden at my mate's place one weekend. It wasn't much, but it was all I could come up with to take to the priest in the confessional on the day. Penalty - three Hail Mary's and an Our Father, and I was good for another week. Pretty pathetic really, given what some of the clergy were obviously up to at the time. On another occasion, when I was about 16 my mates were around one afternoon and the topic was religion. I was a Catholic, the father of one of my friends was the C of E minister, another one was also C of E and the last was a Lutheran. My younger sister who was about 13 came in and at one point said to the Lutheran "why don't you become a Catholic?". He simply said, "I don't want to". I can still see the incredulous expression on my sister's face. She simply couldn't understand how anyone would turn down an offer of eternal salvation so casually. She had been brought up to believe that the Catholics had it right and all the others were heathens and on their way to Hell unless they could be saved. Sounds a lot like what you're trying to tell us, doesn't it? Sorry, but I just can't buy it.
rgmwa