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Phil Perry

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Everything posted by Phil Perry

  1. Phil Perry
    My apologies if this is one of yours Peter. . . [ATTACH]50197._xfImport[/ATTACH]
  2. Phil Perry
    My Brother hates this song,. . and for the life of me. . .I don't know why. . . .I must be an Old romantic. . .
  3. Phil Perry
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  4. Phil Perry
    German media quick off the mark. . .they really don't like boris. . .[ATTACH]50194._xfImport[/ATTACH]
  5. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    Phil Perry replied to red750's topic in Funnies

    The girlfriend dumped me over my obsession with Hollywood boxing films. Not for long, though; We were just going through a Rocky patch.
  6. Phil Perry
    The clowns that he has employed in his new cabinet are even worse that the crap we had before ! !
  7. Phil Perry
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  8. Phil Perry
    Bojo has already sacked Fifteen members of the cabinet, with more to come. . .this is 'Matt's' view. . . [ATTACH]50188._xfImport[/ATTACH]
  9. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    Phil Perry replied to red750's topic in Funnies

    I was playing darts with my pet hedgehog last night. I scored 795 with my first throw.
  10. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    Phil Perry replied to red750's topic in Funnies

    Thought for the day. . . . Bread is just raw toast.
  11. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    Phil Perry replied to red750's topic in Funnies

    I once refereed a game of darts between the world’s tallest blind men. It was all above board.
  12. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    Phil Perry replied to red750's topic in Funnies

    A genie once popped out of a lamp and slapped me in the face. I said, ‘What did you do that for?’ He said, ‘You rubbed me up the wrong way.’
  13. Phil Perry
    Dick Emery - . . . Was a Private Pilot and amateur aircraft builder. Not much about this on Wiki though Outside show business, he enjoyed flying, and held a pilot's licence from 1961 onwards.
  14. Phil Perry
    I still love re-runs of Dad's Army though,. . Gentle humour without any smut or innuendo.
  15. Phil Perry
    Retired in Jamaica or so I'm told. . . .
  16. Phil Perry
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  17. Phil Perry
    t certainly IS mate,. . I was Sick to death of drinking from cans and getting dribbles down my shirt fronts. . .. . . .
  18. Phil Perry
    General Carpenters, when I was at school, measured and cut to a tolerance of 1/8th Inch or.125 Inch. . .roughly 3mm. . This appeared to work throughout the house consttruction industry,. . bear in mind that a saw blade was 3mm thick. . window and door frames required some more accuracy of course. . but this was understood. Then, we Engineers were expected to work to tolerances of a Tenth of a Thou. . .doesn't seem fair does it ? ?
  19. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    Phil Perry replied to red750's topic in Funnies

    A friend of mine came to me in tears, saying he’s sick and tired of his apple tree not bearing any fruit. I told him to Man up, . . and grow a pear.
  20. Phil Perry
    Head in my hands. . . What can we do with these Houses of Retards ?. . . Here's the best suggestion that have seen in years. . . . [ATTACH]50166._xfImport[/ATTACH]
  21. Phil Perry
    HMS Queen Elizabeth 2 returns to base for repairs. . . I note that 100 tons of seawater has flooded part of one of our Brand New carriers due to a ruptured pipe. Do we not now install sea cocks on all spigots that perforate the hull ? There is no urgency though, as we don't have any aircraft to fly off them. . .
  22. Phil Perry
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  23. Phil Perry
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  24. Phil Perry

    Funny videos

    Phil Perry replied to red750's topic in Funnies

    This video DID make me giggle,. . ., I Shouldn't laugh really I know, as at least 2 people were obviously injured, but the sequence of events was pure 1920s Hollywood. . I really hope that the bloke who got run over Twice by the Tuc Tuc wasn't too badly injured. . . https://www.facebook.com/ME...
  25. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    Phil Perry replied to red750's topic in Funnies

    I said to the gym instructor: ‘Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: ‘How flexible are you?’ I said: ‘I can’t make Tuesdays’.
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