Phil Perry

Recently I've been shouting at things in my kitchen. You are a yoghurt I hate you milk You are literally double cream How soon before I'm in court accused of being lactose intolerant ?

This subject was touched upon at a recent family meal. . .I have been reliably informed by Both my Daughters that, I will not be a Grandfather within my limited lifetime. . . .Bloody career women. . .grrrr. . .

Indeed it is Sir. . . .As I said, I dunno the model, but while I was in India I saw lots of them and they're very reliable,. .. ie Fuel injection, Hydraulic valves etc,. . unlike my RE Crusader from 1967 which was almost Totally unreliable, so much so that one day, I swapped it for a gibson ES 330 which was a crap guitar ( feedback ) After spending a kings ransome on bloody parts and repairs. . . Not sure when they started remaking them in India. . . Similarly, in Thailand, the Honda 110 is ubiquitous. . .everybody has one. . .aand yet they never appeared on British roads. . .. I saw the RE everywhere in India and Pakistan, where they were used as Taxis, builders trucks, and everything in between. . Dunno why the Hondas never seemed to appear in the sub continent. . .Odd that. . .

OOOH Luvly. .. but that's got TWO exhausts ?

Friend Alan pictured this machine in Skegness ( Older style seaside resort on the East Coast of England ) very recently, and I Identified it, though not the precise model. Having owned one from the same stable in 1966. AVAGUESS. . ( Marks will be deducted for cheating use of the Reggoe. . .) [ATTACH]49957._xfImport[/ATTACH]

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I have a good friend who is the chairman of the Hook Norton Brewery Company in the cotswolds ( Oxfordshire ) Google and have a look. . .they deliver Beer to their 'tied' local pubs with Horse drawn drays and liveried Draymen. . .. . .I shali ask him that question on your behalf and report back Sir ! I feel sure his answer will be curt and accurate.

Nah Mike. Proper English Ale isn't kept in the fridge . . just served cool man. . . ;-)

In the event of a 'NO DEAL ' Brexit. . .we're all stocking up on the essentials, as the pundits are certain that the shelves will be bare if we are Bereft of the support of the EU. . . Here is MY stockpile,. . I mean. . . you can't be TOO careful Y'know. . . [ATTACH]49940._xfImport[/ATTACH] ( Yes, of Course there's Beer. . .that's all in the cooler in the Wine cellar. . . )

YES you Buggers ! I never liked Fosters, preferring other Carlton & United Breweries products like Melbourne Bitter and VB. . .not a bad glug those two. . ,I found that Courage had a reasonable taste, but can't recall which one. . . bet I never told you about the time I got snakebit at a BBQ did I. . .Oh wot a larf. . . I thought I'd walked back into a twig at the edge of Bruce's lawn, but it all went blue and numb after I got back home. . my ankle and left foot didn't look well at all. Neighbour drove me to the Hospital, where, after waiting for a short while a very nice Doctor asked me If I'd got the snake. . . . Told me he couldn't give me any antivenom unless he was sure what animal it was 'Sorry' Next time I see you post,. . I'll tell you if I survived this 1971 encounter with your bloody dangerous sodding suburban wildlife. . ..

Yeah we heard about THAT product description from a Neighbour who emigrated ( To Melbourne ) 3 years before we did. Shame I lost touch after staying with his family on Vermont for a couple weeks while I got a job and a shack in Boronia. . nice big quarter acre block too . . . Learning to speak and partially understand 'OZ talk' was an interesting progression.. .and we rarely went out in the evening forgetting the Aerogard . . .we got used to smelling like paraffin heaters ( Ooops. . Kerosene ) afterwards,. . it was kinda cute . . .

MUPPETS. . [MEDIA=twitter]1100113681759854593[/MEDIA]

The mafia forced my brother to go on a creative writing course. They made him an author, he couldn't refuse. . . .

No, but I got a got of laarfs from co-workers when I asked what the hell a 'BRIQUETTE' was. . . . Durex ? ? = CELLOTAPE.

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OK, The sun is over the yardarm. . what time is it ?. . . [ATTACH]49934._xfImport[/ATTACH]

Shortly after Wifey and I fronted up off the convict ship at Port Melbourne, it soon became apparent that Australians had sightly different names for certain items. A pint of Lager and a packet of Cheese and Onion Crisps, became 'A Schooner of beer and a bag of Chips. Choc Ice = Eskimo Pie. . . Wafer = Kreem Between Bottle of Pop = Mineral Pommie = Barstard. . . Soooo confusing to Newbies. . .

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( Encouraged as I am. . .) . My mate told me that a fish jumped out of the sea and slapped him in the face. To be honest, that sounds like codswallop. .

Went to the Zoo today with my kids saw a baguette in a cage Zoo Keeper told me 'It was bread in captivity'

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We have a lefty media frenzy here, with regard to a 15 yer old girl who travelled to Syria and 'Married' an ISIS fighter ( From Holland ! ). Now that ISIS have been all but destroyed, she's in a Kurdish Prison cmp with her new baby, and is begging forgiveness and wants to return to live in the UK with her parents,. . her Dad, is a well known Jihadi extremost who has nbeen photographed at demonstrations against the UK Govt.. . . The Lefty BBC s championing her corner, saying that she is BrItish, and HAS to be brought back to the hated UK. Give him his due, our muslim Home Secretary Sajid Javid, has removed her British Citizenship and refused to allow her to return with her Jihadi spawn. . . but the UK media are going apecrap about it. . .as one would expect. The Dutch are saying that if Hubby comes back to Europe, he will be jailed as a Jihadi immediately, so it looks like SOME justice may actually be taking place, although we still have up to 30,00 people on the Jihadi 'Watch List'. . .what ever that means. . . Those cynics mongst us are expecting that both of them will be secreted back into the country anyhow. . .such is the progress of the great population replacement programme. . . I don't thing that this will end well. . .

I've decided to sell all my chiropractic magazines,. . .. If you want some. . . I have loads of back issues.