Phil Perry

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Thank you Peter,. . . duly Nicked. . . . . Regards,.. . . Phat Phil. . . .

Here is a precis of 'Horrors' which are contained within the 500 Plus pages of 'Legalese' which Theresa May wishes to pass through Parliament. I assume that you will have read some of this already Jerry, and may be able to explain some of the details to others who could be interested. Spectator Coffee House Steerpike The top 40 horrors lurking in the small print of Theresa May’s Brexit deal Steerpike 17 November 2018 8:55 AM This week, Theresa May’s government teetered on the point of collapse over her proposed Brexit deal. The withdrawal agreement between the UK and Brussels led to Dominic Raab and Esther McVey resigning in protest. However, May’s remaining ministers have since attempted to rally around her at least in the short term. Speaking on Friday, Liam Fox – the International Trade Secretary – gave a speech in which he declared ‘a deal is better than no deal’. This is rather different to May’s old claim that ‘no deal is better than a bad deal’. So, is Fox right? Mr S thought it best to let readers decide for themselves. In theory, Britain is leaving the EU on 29 March 2019. But the legal small print, published by Brussels, shows what this means. Parliament will be asked to ratify a deal which clearly admits that ‘all references to ‘Member States’ and competent authorities of Member States…shall be read as including the United Kingdom.’ (Article 7). So the UK will be bound by EU laws, at least during a transition period. But this ‘transition period’ can be be made to last forever (Article 132). And even if a successor deal is agreed, the UK will have signed away other rights for years to come. Just in case readers don’t have the time to go through the lengthly document themselves, Steerpike has compiled a list of the top 40 horrors lurking in the small print of Theresa May’s Brexit deal: In summary: The supposed ‘transition period’ could last indefinitely or, more specifically, to an undefined date sometime this century (“up to 31 December 20XX”, Art. 132). So while this Agreement covers what the government is calling Brexit, what we in fact get is: ‘transition’ + extension indefinitely (by however many years we are willing to pay for) + all of those extra years from the ‘plus 8 years’ articles. Should it end within two years, as May hopes, the UK will still be signed up to clauses keeping us under certain rules (like VAT and ECJ supervision) for a further eight years. Some clauses have, quite literally, a “lifetime” duration (Art.39). If the UK defaults on transition, we go in to the backstop with the Customs Union and, realistically, the single market. We can only leave the transition positively with a deal. But we sign away the money. So the EU has no need to give us a deal, and certainly no incentive to make the one they offered ‘better’ than the backstop. The European Court of Justice remains sovereign, as repeatedly stipulated. Perhaps most damagingly of all, we agree to sign away the rights we would have, under international law, to unilaterally walk away. Again, what follows relates (in most part) for the “transition” period. But the language is consistent with the E.U. imagining that this will be the final deal. The top 40 horrors: From the offset, we should note that this is an EU text, not a UK or international text. This has one source. The Brexit agreement is written in Brussels. May says her deal means the UK leaves the EU next March. The Withdrawal Agreement makes a mockery of this. “All references to Member States and competent authorities of Member States…shall be read as including the United Kingdom.” (Art 6). Not quite what most people understand by Brexit. It goes on to spell out that the UK will be in the EU but without any MEPs, a commissioner or ECJ judges. We are effectively a Member State, but we are excused – or, more accurately, excluded – from attending summits. (Article 7) The European Court of Justice is decreed to be our highest court, governing the entire Agreement – Art. 4. stipulates that both citizens and resident companies can use it. Art 4.2 orders our courts to recognise this. “If the European Commission considers that the United Kingdom has failed to fulfil an obligation under the Treaties or under Part Four of this Agreement before the end of the transition period, the European Commission may, within 4 years after the end of the transition period, bring the matter before the Court of Justice of the European Union”. (Art. 87) The jurisdiction of the ECJ will last until eight years after the end of the transition period. (Article 158). The UK will still be bound by any future changes to EU law in which it will have no say, not to mention having to comply with current law. (Article 6(2)) Any disputes under the Agreement will be decided by EU law only – one of the most dangerous provisions. (Article 168). This cuts the UK off from International Law, something we’d never do with any foreign body. Arbitration will be governed by the existing procedural rules of the EU law – this is not arbitration as we would commonly understand it (i.e. between two independent parties). (Article 174) “UNDERLINING that this Agreement is founded on an overall balance of benefits, rights and obligations for the Union and the United Kingdom” No, it should be based upon the binding legal obligations upon the EU contained within Article 50. It is wrong to suggest otherwise. The tampon tax clause: We obey EU laws on VAT, with no chance of losing the tampon tax even if we agree a better deal in December 2020 because we hereby agree to obey other EU VAT rules for **five years** after the transition period. Current EU rules prohibit 0-rated VAT on products (like tampons) that did not have such exemptions before the country joined the EU. Several problems with the EU’s definitions: “Union law” is too widely defined and “United Kingdom national” is defined by the Lisbon Treaty: we should given away our right to define our citizens. The “goods” and the term “services” we are promised the deal are not defined – or, rather, will be defined however the EU wishes them to be. Thus far, this a non-defined term so far. This agreement fails to define it. The Mandelson Pension Clause: The UK must promise never to tax former EU officials based here – such as Peter Mandelson or Neil Kinnock – on their E.U. pensions, or tax any current Brussels bureaucrats on their salaries. The EU and its employees are to be immune to our tax laws. (Article 104) Furthermore, the UK agrees not to prosecute EU employees who are, or who might be deemed in future, criminals (Art.101) The GDPR clause. The General Data Protection Regulation – the EU’s stupidest law ever? – is to be bound into UK law (Articles 71 to 73). There had been an expectation in some quarters that the UK could get out of it. The UK establishes a ‘Joint Committee’ with EU representatives to guarantee ‘the implementation and application of this Agreement’. This does not sound like a withdrawal agreement – if it was, why would it need to be subject to continued monitoring? (Article 164). This Joint Committee will have subcommittees with jurisdiction over: (a) citizens’ rights; (b) “other separation provisions”; © Ireland/Northern Ireland; (d) Sovereign Base Areas in Cyprus; (e) Gibraltar; and (f) financial provisions. (Article 165) The Lifetime clause: the agreement will last as long as the country’s youngest baby lives. “the persons covered by this Part shall enjoy the rights provided for in the relevant Titles of this Part for their lifetime”. (Article 39). The UK is shut out of all EU networks and databases for security – yet no such provision exists to shut the EU out of ours. (Article 8) The UK will tied to EU foreign policy, “bound by the obligations stemming from the international agreements concluded by the Union” but unable to influence such decisions. (Article 124) All EU citizens must be given permanent right of residence after five years – but what counts as residence? This will be decided by the EU, rather than UK rules. (Articles 15-16) Britain is granted the power to send a civil servant to Brussels to watch them pass stupid laws which will hurt our economy. (Article 34) The UK agrees to spend taxpayers’ money telling everyone how wonderful the agreement is. (Article 37) Art 40 defines Goods. It seems to includes Services and Agriculture. We may come to discover that actually ‘goods’ means everything. Articles 40-49 practically mandate the UK’s ongoing membership of the Customs Union in all but name. The UK will be charged to receive the data/information we need in order to comply with EU law. (Article 50) The EU will continue to set rules for UK intellectual property law (Article 54 to 61) The UK will effectively be bound by a non-disclosure agreement swearing us to secrecy regarding any EU developments we have paid to be part. This is not mutual. The EU is not bound by such measures. (Article 74) The UK is bound by EU rules on procurement rules – which effectively forbids us from seeking better deals elsewhere. (Articles 75 to 78) We give up all rights to any data the EU made with our money (Art. 103) The EU decide capital projects (too broadly defined) the UK is liable for. (Art. 144) The UK is bound by EU state aid laws until future agreement – even in the event of an agreement, this must wait four years to be valid. (Article 93) Similar advantages and immunities are extended to all former MEPs and to former EU official more generally. (Articles 106-116) The UK is forbidden from revealing anything the EU told us or tells us about the finer points of deal and its operation. (Article 105). Any powers the UK parliament might have had to mitigate EU law are officially removed. (Article 128) The UK shall be liable for any “outstanding commitments” after 2022 (Article 142(2) expressly mentions pensions, which gives us an idea as to who probably negotiated this). The amount owed will be calculated by the EU. (Articles 140-142) The UK will be liable for future EU lending. As anyone familiar with the EU’s financials knows, this is not good. (Article143) The UK will remain liable for capital projects approved by the European Investment Bank. (Article 150). The UK will remain a ‘party’ (i.e. cough up money) for the European Development Fund. (Articles 152-154) And the EU continues to calculate how much money the UK should pay it. So thank goodness Brussels does not have any accountancy issues. The UK will remain bound (i.e coughing up money) to the European Union Emergency Trust Fund – which deals with irregular migration (i.e. refugees) and displaced persons heading to Europe. (Article 155) The agreement will be policed by ‘the Authority’ – a new UK-based body with ‘powers equivalent to those of the European Commission’. (Article 159) The EU admits, in Art. 184, that it is in breach of Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty which oblige it to “conclude an agreement” of the terms of UK leaving the EU. We must now, it seems, “negotiate expeditiously the agreements governing their future relationship.” And if the EU does not? We settle down to this Agreement. And, of course, the UK will agree to pay £40bn to receive all of these ‘privileges’. (Article 138)

Went to a local Discount shop yesterday,. . .called B&M Bargains. . .nearly got run over by a pallet truck emerging from the store room. I peered in at the stock and saw pallets of chocolate Easter Eggs sitting ready for December 27th. . . .

Ezzackly Marty, . . .serve it with half the tree on the plate. . . Just one thing though, somebody has got to shoot the bugger out of the pear tree first. . . .

Deffo Off Topic here,. . .a SUPERB tribute to one of the great bands. . . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_torOTK5qc.

This was written by a friend who served in Submarines until recently Calamity on the San Juan IN MEMORY OF THE 44 SUBMARINERS WHO WERE LOST IN ARA SAN JUAN ON 15TH NOVEMBER 2017 From the Argentine Press “Experts believe the Argentine submarine took on water in rough seas at the surface, causing a short circuit and setting up conditions for a later catastrophic explosion.” Collated from various reports – At 30 minutes after midnight on Nov. 15, sometime after resurfacing, the ship sent a report saying seawater came through the ventilation system and into contact with the batteries, “causing a short-circuit and the beginning of a fire in the batteries tray,” according to a transcript of the crew’s message. Hours later, at 7:30 a.m., the submarine sent another report through a satellite phone that the crew had got the fire under control but lost use of the batteries in the ship’s bow. That was the San Juan’s last communication. My Conclusions She was in an area of deep water and heavy seas. The crew would have been snorting every 24 hours or so, a tough way of life, coming to periscope depth, looking for drifting fishing vessels, pulling in air for the diesels through the snort induction mast in order to charge the batteries, then after 2 or 3 hours diving to safe depth. It becomes routine to snort, sleep, eat, watch-keep, snort, sleep……until you have a problem, then the klaxon – three times and everyone is out of their pit, boots on waiting to hear the description – Fire, Flood …..these are the nightmares. San Juan had a fire which in a small diesel boat, means the crew don their emergency breathing masks immediately. Ventilation is stopped but the atmosphere quickly becomes toxic and the smoke makes it difficult to see. If dived, the submarine comes to safe depth, if the fire is serious, the submarine will surface using emergency blow. Which puts her on the surface rolling about like a bottle and vulnerable to collision. San Juan is reported to have had a fire, which was put out and she may have re-started ventilation to clear the smoke, maybe have run diesels to pull the smoke into the engines and thereby clear the boat of the toxic air. The batteries in a submarine are lead acid, just like a normal car battery but the cells are about 20cm square and 1500 cm high, each battery (San Juan had four) has over 100 cells in each tank which can create a fault current of thousands of amps, in the event of a short circuit. Something happened, we know not what and she flooded, lost buoyancy and sank. Unlike surface ships, submarines are designed to dive. Even with her bulkhead doors shut, hull crush depth is at say 1000 metres (she went far beyond that), and her diesel fuel would compress and explode. Forty four trained, highly skilled, unique, professional people lost in minutes. As a submariner, I wondered whether to include the next bit – but I think the San Juan and her lost crew would appreciate that it is meant to lift the mood a bit – A Submariner’s description of life in a Nuclear submarine that may bring a smile to the 44 lost spirits – With acknowledgement to the great Bob Newhart. What’s that Walt, you’re going to be a submariner ? What’s a submariner Walt ? You live in a steel tube with about a 100 others ? OK, and you shut all the hatches in the tube and the tube goes below the surface of the sea ? Why would it do that Walt ? To sink ships and launch missiles at the enemy ? OK Walt, how do you breath in this tube ? You extract oxygen from sea water and let it into the atmosphere of the tube ? OK Walt, what do you drink ? You purify sea water ? Where do you poo Walt ? You poo into a tank and when the tank’s full you blow it into the sea ? OK Walt, so you go under the surface of the sea in a steel tube with about hundred people, how deep do you go Walt ? About 600 feet or more ? Wow Walt it must be dark down there. But you don’t have windows Walt ? So how do you see where you are going ? You can’t see out Walt ? So you listen ? Sounds good Walt OK Walt and how long do you stay in this tube under the surface ? About 3 months ! Wow, Walt, 90 days in a steel tube with 100 people, 600 feet below the surface ? OK Walt, one more question, where do you get your propulsion from for this tube ? You what Walt…….., say that again…….., inside the tube with about 100 people, 600 feet below, you have a large Nuclear Reactor ? Oh Walt, I need a cigarette. Rest in Peace – Descansa en paz H/T Porcinus November 14th 2018.

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Here are our last Two Leaders. . . [ATTACH]49675._xfImport[/ATTACH] Theresa May was Home Secretary for 7 years. . .she never stemmed Unlimited Immigration, in fact she allowed it to increase exponentially. NO very small country can absorb so many people of a Totally Different mindset in such a short time and expect them to even Partially Integrate. . .It just Isn't feasible. You say that you feel Sorry for her ? ? ? I don't. She is most obviously out of her depth and I can only deduce that she is working to a completely different agenda, to which the British people voted, With Vastly different values and instructions. In complete opposition to what she promised to deliver. Watch the media in the next few days to see if her Total Surrender to the Lunatics in the EU will get past the Parliamentary vote. I for one will feel a little sorry for her of she succeeds in making the UK a Vassal State. . .for if she does, she is Finished, along with her Conservative ( sic ) Party for a generation, And will herald a Labour Government, which will put us all bak to the Commuinst days How this once sensible country has fallen is amazing to me. .. . .I wonder what the WW1 dead would have thought. . . .

Indeed Jerry. She tried to be all things to all people and in the end she satisfies noone. Unlike that paragon of virtue and probity, the Right Honourable Anthony Blair..

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[ATTACH]49670._xfImport[/ATTACH] She now insists that 'Brexit' means joining MORE EU institutions than we are stuck in already. The EU Army has a Fully Staffed Operations centre in London. ( WTF ? ) Denied but true.

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Garage sales as such, never caught on in the UK,. . .most people take their unwanted stuff and junk to weekend Car Boot Sales, where sharks try to get it off you for nothing then advertise it all on Ebay, or Gumtree, etc. . . .

I agree entirely Marty. Maybe your kids learning the most spoken language on Earth would be a fine idea ?. . they learn languages quickly when they're young and their minds are more receptive. Whatever Trumpy and his United States successors do, I believe that the Chinese will be the next World superpower. . . Like it or not, it's certainly Looking that way.

Very Bad Job interviews. . .#329 : Q: "What is your biggest weakness?" A: "Honesty" Q: "I don't think honesty is a weakness" A: "I don't give a $h1t what you think"

To be sure, to be sure, if you like Barbershop quartets,. . .well here's an Oirish Six man Quartet to delight yez all. . .

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Was trying to post another one,. . .made by Primary school kids, but even with a cut down Screenshot, the file was too large for the site. . Sorry.

Thanks Jerry. . . . Wifey worried now. . She asked me to find Daughter and Son in Law's honeymoon flight using my elastictrickery flight radar 24,. . .when she saw that the flight was not far from Kirkuk,. . she started panicking. . .OMG says she. . " They won't shoot it down will they ? " I said that this would be very bad PR for Emirates if they did. . . It's staying up high at FL 410, skipping along at 500 knots. . .( Airbus A-380 ) as long as the Russians are not testing any missiles I said,. . .they'll probably be OK. . . Once again, my bizarre humour has me in the doghouse. . . They've got a six hour wait at Dubai for the flight to Changi. . . . Daughter is staying off the vodka until they get on the second flight ! Wifey was appalled at the mountainous terrain they were crossing. . ."They should fly around that " says she. . . . . .ahh Bless.

Fidel Cuntstruck on Twitter

[ATTACH]49651._xfImport[/ATTACH] Portsmouth Council have done this to most of the streets. It’s fascinating, sad and scary. But hats off to them; it brings it home how many died.

Arrived at the Daughter's Hotel yesterday at Noon, so that Daddy could collect her in a Chauffeur driven Daimler and deliver her to the place of legal 'Hitchment' . You would not believe the look of total shock on the face of the Groom, when Wifey and I handed him a large brown envelope stuffed with 2,500 Quid in cash ! He said that this was a good excuse for doing a 'Runner' !. . .They had specifically asked us Not to buy them a specific wedding pressie, as they'd already stuffed their house full of every imaginable form of domestic goodies already ! and we had some cash floating about from Mother in law's Bequest. We thought that the cash would be appropriate, since they had paid for the entire wedding up front and refused any help with it. The cash was my idea, as Knowing them, if it had been a cheque, they could have easily trashed it and not stuffed it into their bank. . . (** Edit to Add: The Lady at the Bank was most put out after she asked me why we wanted so much cash all at once and I replied "Don't worry love, it's just a Money Laundering scam we're running. . Why do some folks seem to lack any sense of Humour ? ),. . . I will post a Piccie or two when they get back from Singapore and Thailand,. . leaving early tomorrow morning ( Nov 6th ) on an Emirates A-380. . . I quietly asked the Photographer Lady if she could 'Photoshop' me some teeth, as I had broken me top set in half a few hours earlier ! I 'Bribed' her to hang around for more time than was agreed, and she Did this, staying on until the event finished at midnight thirty. . . we are probably going to need a Wedding Album slightly larger than the Domesday book. . . As a Bonus, she and her Hubby dragged the newlyweds up to Cannock Chase Forest and took some pics up there too, this wasn't apart of the original plan, but it is amazing what bribery can achieve. . and also fortunately the rain had stopped. .. . that couple were soooo good that Wifey and I paid for a room at the local on site Motel so they could have a meal and a couple of drinks without having a 35 mile drive home in the dark and the rain. . . Great to attend a wedding for a change,. . .at my age, the last few events have been Funerals. . .