Phil Perry

I thought that Marty. . . . but I never edit someone else's work. Even the naughty bits. . .WHY ? Cuz they are (normally) several orders of magnitude Better than any article I ever penned ! AND. . . I always pass on the critique received from this House of course . . it just makes them try harder. I returned yesterday from a GREAT weekend event labelled 'The Pi$$ up at a Brewery'. This was a gathering of ne'er do wells from seven of the blogs which I frequent.We all ate at a superb restaurant in the huge cellar of the brewery, and the quality and range of food along with the level of service was superb. It's great to meet people that I've been chatting to online FOR YEARS, they never EVER look like you would expect from the manner and content of their posts. Without being too specific. there was a large cross section of society. From a Highly ranked member of the Judiciary ( recently retired ) an ex-MP, the founder of a small UK political party, 3 serving professional pilots, 1 civil, 2 Mil, a container ship Master, some blog journalists, several published authors and the rest comprising of very ordinary folk, plus a couple of sub-normals, rather like me. 165 people in all. I was highly surprised at the amount of Ladies present, I WON'T be showing Angie any pictures of them ( ! ) We have a retired Lady university lecturer in higher mathematics, who sets ' Maffs' exercises on some of the blogs and actually plays with numbers and makes it look interesting. . .( No,. . Really. . .) She would give Einstein a good run I'm sure. . . I did not come out of it well though, I was helping a group of Lades to erect their huge tent thing, ( As you do, as they are fairly hopeless at MAN stuff. . .) and tripped over a guy rope in the dark and the rain ( well, this Is England. . ) I smashed the side of my head on the corner of a table containing food and drinks ( So I was told later ) and was out cold for around half an hour. Some campers were medical staff, a couple of (off duty ) first responder paramedics, who kindly cleaned up all the blood and guts. They dragged me in the tent and I awoke finally nearly conscious at 6AM on Saturday morning in a tent full of half naked snoring women. . . No questions will be taken on this part of the story, other than the fact that I was well looked after, being fed bacon rolls and coffee, until I was able to stand and make my way to the shower block. . . First time I've gone without Even a glass of wine for a whole weekend . . .( some Pi$$ up ! ) Still feel a bit woozy, but I'll live.

Yes OK,. . .sorry about that. . .the original had much better formatting but it was 'Disqus' which is Krap, and doesn't travel well.. I must've posted it too late, or got interrupted. . .I normally try to restore the original layout, and embolden subheadings too. . . I'll try to do that next time I post one.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=485067451958579

Have I got some Trekkie photos for you Geoff. . . . Star Trek - Next generation cast members. . . how well have they aged ? 1: Picard : No change 2: T'Pal : still hot 3: Kes. This one is most upsetting :-( 4: Belanna was always prettier as a Klingon. 5: 7of 9 is still worth a TEN 6: Tuvok morphed into Obama ! 7: Deanna Troi still bloody Gorgeous [ATTACH]49487._xfImport[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]49486._xfImport[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]49488._xfImport[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]49489._xfImport[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]49490._xfImport[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]49491._xfImport[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]49492._xfImport[/ATTACH]

I shall put your question to PHIL the Author, who suffers from the same first name as I Marty.

The Sausage Butty What is the best sausage butty? It is a question I hear a lot. Most recently from many people who are often at the forefront of discourse on several esteemed Internet sites in the UK. . So I thought as it was of such importance that I would write an article for your consumption. Sausage Types First, we need to understand the different types of sausage. I would need to write several parts to this article to cover the very wide range that are available world-wide, but I will not, as the vast majority of them are disgusting foreign muck. I make an exception for a Bratwurst. I will instead concentrate on the UK’s most favourite sausages, before dealing with the tricky topic of layout of the finished product. Your sausage will come in all shapes and sizes, small ones, average sized ones and big ones. Smaller sized ones, such as a chipolata can still be tasty and more than a mouthful , as it is not the size that matters, as I am sure you will be pleased to know. The most important thing to bear in mind is that you must not buy cheap sausages. Even the best ones are only a pound or two more than cheap ones. I do like a firm to the touch, well filled, quality sausage. You can try all the different fillings, such as beef, venison, boar etc, but for me there is nothing better than having a pork sausage in my hand. A Cumberland sausage is usually very nice, but far from ideal for a sandwich as once you cut it in half, or even worse, diagonally, it falls to bits on the first bite, which causes not only bits of sausage all over the place, but the butter and sauce to drip over you. You do not want your sausage dribbling, so in my view, best to stick with the standard sausage shape. You will all have your favourites, my two are Walls sausages and Korkers, though I am partial to the occasional M&S British Outdoor-bred pork sausage, and I do occasionally purchase local made varieties during my travels. Also, you may have your local butchers that tend to make some of the finest sausages. My most favourite sausages of all time were the ones we had in the Army in Compo rations, but I cannot find them to buy anywhere. When I stay in hotels and B&B’s, I will only stay there long term if the sausage at breakfast is nice. If their sausage is cheap and nasty, I ask myself what else are they skimping on. Cooking your Sausage Firstly, you want to savior the taste, so none of that putting mushrooms, tomatoes or onions in with them, we are not not doing a Full English today, so keep it simple. Do not prick your sausage. There is nothing worse than a burnt sausage, especially when barbecued and dangerously pink on the inside. When frying your sausages, just a small drop of oil (about 1/2 tablespoon) to stop them sticking to the pan whilst you wait for the natural fat to be released. Once the sausages have started to brown, after around 3 minutes, turn the heat down and continue to cook them for around 12 minutes, turning frequently otherwise your sausage will look like a zebra. Obviously the cooking time will depend upon the size of your sausage, if you are blessed with a large one, then it will need more time to come to perfection. Sausage in a roll Not all foreign sausages are bad, I do make an exception for a German Bratwurst, I actually recommend those from Lidl, which go nicely with Heinz or Branston tomato sauce that is liberally sprinkled and mixed with a hot curry powder, making a curry-wurst. Not much good for a butty, but very nice in a baguette, either sliced length-ways, or, and my preferred method, in a larger type baguette, then use a sharp knife to dig out a hole starting from one end though the length of the sausage, or, improvise a sausage-holer as in the picture below: Once you have a suitable hole for your sausage, you can insert it. Top tip: Use lubricant to help slide your sausage in. My lubricant preference is HP Brown sauce (I know, it’s made in EU land now, but I like the taste). a well lubricated hole will really help the sausage slide in nicely, and the big advantage of this method is that there is seldom any spillage, or danger of it slipping out. So, just to be clear, the my preference is a well lubricated hole, with the sausage being gently guided into that moist hole of the warm and inviting roll. It’s a trap: Sausages in a roll/bun/barm/cob/bap or whatever you call your bread can be deadly, in terms of dribbling. This example below should be avoided, unless you are alone, and wearing a bib. Another common trap is the double, triple or even quadruple sausage butty. See example below: They look nice, but unless you want to be like “Ed Miliband and the bacon sandwich”, avoid at all costs, especially in public. No one likes to see your sausage hanging out. ( A jibe at Ed Milliband, a former political leader, who famously made a pig's ear of trying to eat a Bacon Butty- IN PUBLIC ! ED. ) The Sauce There will no doubt be some here that would actually put tomato sauce rather than brown sauce on their sausage, and do not get me started on those the would put mustard on it. We will never all agree which is the best sauce for a sausage butty, it is clearly brown sauce though. Tomato sauce or mustard can be used on “hot-dogs”. Though as I have said, Tomato sauce with hot curry powder is nice on a Bratwurst which is particularly unsuitable for brown sauce. The Butty There are times when all we have is sliced bread. This is nice too of course. If you are very hungry, then use four slices of bread rather than two slices, and make 2 butties, do not put your sausage in a trap by using three slices. Cook your sausages to perfection. Take your slices of your favourite bread then butter them (yes you can use margarine if you have to, or prefer it). Take your brown sauce and spread it evenly over both slices of bread. Now, if you are blessed with a large sausage, slice it on half length-ways, and place it down on the bottom slice in a row, to fit the whole slice. Add pepper if required. Place the top bread slice on then cut in half along the narrowest side of the bread, avoiding slicing your sausage. Do not cut diagonally as this is a recipe for disaster. When eating a butty like this, it is best to grab the the bread and hold your sausage firmly in your hand, this will avoid it from slipping out and creating an unwanted wet patch. Enjoy! ( And you wonder why my posts are derided as marginally Insane. . . . ED ) H/T 'Phil the Test Manager' Going Postal blog - Aug. 2018.

Who said that Germans have o sense of humour ? [ATTACH]49483._xfImport[/ATTACH]

Mornin' All. .. . . [ATTACH]49481._xfImport[/ATTACH]

Love this. . .I want one too. . . [ATTACH]49478._xfImport[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH]49477._xfImport[/ATTACH] Every picture tells a story ?

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Corporal Edward Thomas Chapman VC, BEM (13th January 1920 – 3rd February 2002), 3rd Battalion, Monmouthshire Regiment. 3rd July 1945 – Teutoburger Wald, Germany, 2nd April 1945, Corporal Edward Thomas Chapman, 3rd Bn, Monmouthshire Regiment: On 2nd April 1945, a Company of the Monmouthshire Regiment crossed the Dortmund- Ems canal and was ordered to assault the ridge of the Teutoberger Wald, which dominates the surrounding country. This ridge is steep thickly wooded and is ideal defensive country. It was, moreover, defended by a battalion of German officer cadets and their instructors, all of them picked men and fanatical Nazis. Corporal Chapman was advancing with his section in single file along a narrow track when the enemy suddenly opened fire with machine guns at short range, inflicting heavy casualties and causing some confusion. Corporal Chapman immediately ordered his section to take cover and, seizing the Bren gun, he advanced alone, firing the gun from his hip, and mowed down the enemy at point blank range, forcing them to retire in disorder. At this point, however, his Company was ordered to withdraw but Corporal Chapman and his section were still left in their advanced position, as the order could not be got forward to them. The enemy then began to close up to Corporal Chapman and his isolated section and, under cover of intense machine gun fire, they made determined charges with the bayonet. Corporal Chapman again rose with his Bren gun to meet the assaults and on each occasion halted their advance. He had now nearly run out of ammunition. Shouting to his section for more bandoliers, he dropped into a fold in the ground and covered those bringing up the ammunition by lying on his back and firing the Bren gun over his shoulder. A party of Germans made every effort to eliminate him with grenades, but with reloaded magazine he closed with them and once again drove the enemy back with considerable casualties. During the withdrawal of his Company, the Company Commander had been severely wounded and left lying in the open a short distance from Corporal Chapman. Satisfied that his section was now secure, at any rate for the moment, he went out alone under withering fire and carried his Company Commander for 50 yards to comparative safety. On the way a sniper hit the officer again, wounding Corporal Chapman in the hip and, when he reached our lines, it was discovered that the officer had been killed. In spite of his wound, Corporal Chapman refused to be evacuated and went back to his Company until the position was fully restored two hours later. Throughout the action Corporal Chapman displayed outstanding gallantry and superb courage. Single-handed he repulsed the attacks of well-led, determined troops and gave his battalion time to reorganise on a vital piece of ground overlooking the only bridge across the canal. His magnificent bravery played a very large part in the capture of this vital ridge and in the successful development of subsequent operations.

I have been informed that the cat shown, actually exists,. . .but the picture with the carriage is a composite, and has been laterally reversed. . . .Double Quadruple check my posts and update where necessary in case I get chipped for #Fake news. . . ( ! )

OK, OK,. . .this VC was won in the Great War. . . ( so Sue me . . .) Sergeant John Carmichael VC MM (1st April 1893 – 20th December 1977), 9th Battalion, The North Staffordshire Regiment (The Prince of Wales's). Carmichael was 24 years old, and a sergeant when the following deed took place for which he was awarded the VC. On 8th September 1917, when excavating a trench near Hill 60, Zwarteleen, Belgium, Sergeant Carmichael saw that a grenade had been unearthed and had started to burn. Rather than simply throwing the bomb out of the trench and endangering the lives of the men working on top, he immediately rushed to the spot shouting for his men to get clear, put his steel helmet over the grenade and then stood on the helmet. The grenade exploded, blowing him out of the trench causing him serious injuries, but no one else was hurt.

[ATTACH]49473._xfImport[/ATTACH] Topiary or Photoshop ? ? ? I think I'll hedge my pets. . .

Ffs OMG Vids on Twitter

Posted a while back,. . .but shows a 'Luckier' squirrel. . .

Yep. . .I agree. It's a bit of a lottery in that respect.

[MEDIA=twitter]1024049634875006976[/MEDIA] Perhaps there are Some people who just don't deserve to be rescued.

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Don't bust a pooper valve about it Marty. I could hardly make a useful / knowledgeable comment about how Australian Law is interpreted by it's officers, But I think it is apparent that the Aussie Officer KNEW damn well that she was intending to cause a stir in an area with a large population of muslims, ie, Potential Breach of the peace. . as she knows that they can be easily riled and, although other posters have said that the officer was 'technically' out of line,, I think he calmly handled it very well. She has been banned from entering the UK, as she has done the same thing here.. . .sometimes getting a bit of a roughing up in the process, which is exactly what she wants. . . .along with her mate Brittany Pettibone. ( Also banned from the UK for stirring )

Stop me if you've heard this.. . . . For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. One with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.

A Combination of a few things by the look of it Willie. . .I still believe that Ol' Irwin was a bloody good tactician though. . .AND he didn't Like Adolf ! If anyone is interested, BP has a Three Part story about German Codebreaking in very surgical detail ( Smart Ar$e he is ! ). . .fascinating stuff. and we thought we were the Bees Knees due to the capture and cracking of an Enigma machine. . . .The Germans had been reading Several of our codes for a while - fortunately, they never cottoned on that we'd cracked Enigma. . . .

Amusing Health and Safety warning from Chris Rock - CAVEAT - Fruity Language and Faux violence throughout.

Posted without comment.