Phil Perry

My name is Phil and I am a Looong time radio Ham. [ATTACH]50493._xfImport[/ATTACH] And YES.. . my Wife hates me.

A man learns carpentry in prison and starts doing odd jobs for the prison staff. All goes well until the Governor asks the prisoner to fit a new kitchen counter – the prisoner refuses. ‘Why won’t you fit a new counter?’ asks the Governor. The prisoner replies, ‘It was counter fitting that got me in here in the first place.’

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HERE YOU BLOKES. . .I just got this from the internet, so it MUST be true. . . It's all them bloody sheilas causing all the world's troubles for us Blokes. . . ( ! ) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgDPm9aYWnw

London Transport. Did you know that : From Baker St, . . you take a Barking train to get to the Isle of Dogs ? Tru Dat.

The Germans didn't really rule France between 1940 and 1944. The French government had negotiated a great deal with the Third Reich and were in a transition period. There was some minor disagreement over the Belgium Backstop but nothing a good panzer division couldn't handle. Britain was invited to join but the British prime minister at the time preferred to crash out over a cliff edge with no deal.

Took my young Nephew to see Santa last night. . .the smell of B.O., beer, fags and stale Urine was almost overpowering. Lord only knows what Santa thought. . .

The girlfriend dumped me over my obsession with Hollywood boxing films. Not for long, though; we were just going through a Rocky patch.

My humour is mostly plagiarised Marty. . so help yourself

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The fastest man made object isn't a hypersonic jet or spacecraft, but a large manhole cover.... When the US started doing underground nuclear testing, nobody really knew what would happen. One test bomb was placed at the bottom of a 485-foot deep shaft on July 26, 1957, and someone thought it was a good idea to put a half-ton iron manhole cover on top to contain the explosion. The bomb turned the shaft into the world's largest Roman candle, and the manhole cover was nowhere to be found. Robert Brownlee, an astrophysicist who designed the test, wanted to repeat the experiment with high-speed cameras so he could figure out what happened to the cover. So another experiment was created, this time 500-feet deep, and a similar half-ton manhole cover was placed on top. On August 27, 1957, they detonated the bomb. The high-speed cameras barely caught a view of the cover as it left the top of the shaft and headed into oblivion. Brownlee used the frames to calculate the speed to be more than 125,000 miles per hour.... more than five times the escape velocity required to overcome Earth Gravitation. This made it the fastest man-made object in history. Physicists have debated the whereabouts of the two manhole covers ever since. Recently, with the help of supercomputers and a lot more scientific knowledge, physicists are certain that they wouldn't have had time to burn up completely before exiting the atmosphere. This would suggest that both of the remaining manhole pieces would have passed Pluto's orbit sometime around 1961 and are way beyond the edge of the solar system by now. ? Just some random trivia for a Wednesday evening. [ATTACH]50453._xfImport[/ATTACH]

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I tried donating blood today. Never again. Too many darned stupid questions. "Who's blood is it?" "Where did you get it?" "Why is it in a bucket?"

Breakfast anyone ? [ATTACH]50448._xfImport[/ATTACH]

. . . if Titanic sank today. . . [ATTACH]50447._xfImport[/ATTACH]

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A blonde walks into a library. "Excuse me - can I have a burger and large fries, please"? The librarian looks at her and says "Miss, this is a library". The blonde leans over the counter and whispers into the librarian's ear "I'm sorry, can I have a burger and large fries please?

I built up an old computer from junked bits found at the back of the shed. . .it's fairly crap, and I only had 2 gigs of DDR2 ram, which is a bit slow using win 7. . .just a temporary measure as my Laptop finally died last week. Saving for super you beaut new machine, so will do battle with site security when I get that running.

I’m sick of all these sad buggers that set off Guy Fawkes night fireworks in mid October. Our puppy is so bloody scared he won’t come out from behind the Christmas tree. . .