I know exactly how you feel. My late wife had the most beautiful golden retriever who developed a problem with leakage into the stomach. The vet told us to take her to the animal hospital. She refused to get out of the car and it took two of us to pull her out. She was operated on that night and we got a call to say she didn't come out of the aneasthetic. Our other dog, a gorgeous black spoodle, went blind, running into cupboards and walls. Then she started throwing up everything she ate, so we had to have her put down. Very distressing.