All of the TP situation has brought back childhood memories for me. When we were kids a chap called Col Elliott was like the wiggles for us, we would listen to his cassettes on road trips in the old falcon 500.
one of my favorites and was (as close as I can remember)
An Aussie is on holidays in Indonesia and needs the toilet badly, he runs in and drops his strides and dumps a load, then starts looking for toilet paper.
He panics when he cant see any, but spots a small sign above a slot in the wall. It reads: We do not believe in cutting trees down and wasting paper, so wipe your rear with your hand, then kindly place your hands through this slot, where they will be licked clean by human lips.
He was hesitant but had to do something. so here goes nothing, he wiped, placed his hands in the slot.
Bamm!, somebody on the others side hit his fingers with a hammer`. His hands were promptly withdrawn and stuck straight in his mouth. Job Done.
Col did this one really well, 35 years later it still makes me chuckle. I am also go and dig through my Dad's stuff and find the tapes. hoping I still have a tape player that works.