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Gnarly Gnu

By Gnarly Gnu
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Bruce Newbie

Bruce

Posted
Posted

I've got a religious problem too Don, I can't find a " bible is the word of god" believer who will even attempt to explain why we don't run into the firmament " which separates the waters above from the waters below" in our planes. The most I've seen is about how it means something different if you interpret it like this... and then they go on with weaseling out of a literal reading of the bible. And there are the sun and moon as downlights built into this swimming-pool base under which we fly.

 

 

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pmccarthy
pmccarthy

I reckon Silverton is west of Broken Hill, not north. The most memorable event in Silverton was when Chad Morgan got hit with a nulla nulla and was put in the Broken Hill hospital. Shows that indigeno

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bexrbetter Newbie

bexrbetter

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If only I could actually follow my own advice . . .

Damned if you do, damned if you don't (habitual metaphor, not a religious one) ...

 

Tell a secret, I have tried to watch the whole thing a few times myself but just feel like throwing rocks at it and turn it off.

 

 

OzBirdy Newbie

OzBirdy

Posted
Posted

Well there ya go, that prooves it then, im not human. ;)

 

(Didnt think i was, iv seen sum s*** humans do, and i dont want to be associated with them)

 

 

octave Veteran

octave

Posted
Posted
Just in case anyone thought Theism was the default setting for homo sapiens:

Atheism is as natural as religion, new research suggests, throwing doubt onto the notion humans are preprogrammed to believe in deities.

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/atheism-is-as-old-as-religion-new-study-suggests-a6879341.html

Just listening to this - the history of atheism https://radio.abc.net.au/programitem/pgzY744e47?play=true

 

 

Bruce Newbie

Bruce

Posted
Posted

Maybe somebody can help me understand the Easter story. You can already buy hot cross buns around here, so its that time of the year.

 

Suppose Queen Elizabeth was God and London was the world.

 

One day the Queen decides that the sinful inhabitants of London need her forgiveness so she can let them into heaven when they die. But she feels she can't just do this off the cuff.

 

So she sends Charles to go to a tough part of London to preach clean living to the people there and thereby disrupt the gangs a bit. Then a particularly nasty gang kills Charles, just as the Queen has planned.

 

Having done this, the Queen now feels herself able to forgive all of London and let them into heaven*.

 

(* conditions apply.)

 

Have I got this right? Is the story even sane?

 

The best answer will get to explain the Trinity as a prize.

 

 

facthunter Grand Master

facthunter

Posted
Posted

I can imagine that would be about right.

 

All knowledge is increasing ..Atheists are more likely to believe that knowledge, so.. Atheists knowledge is INCREASING. Someone's has to because we are doing a crook job of managing things so far. Nev

 

 

turboplanner Newbie

turboplanner

Posted
Posted
There's non so blind as those who will not see. Nev

Never mind the Prophet's words, it would help if you just clicked the "Reply" button, then the subject matter you want to comment on comes up like this, and we would know what those deep words were referring to.

 

 

turboplanner Newbie

turboplanner

Posted
Posted

Facthunter's words remind me of this flood story.

 

When a flood hit the district, and the houses were covered to roof level, some rescuers in a boat came across an old farmer perched on the top of his roof.

 

"Jump in!" they called.

 

"No thanks, the Lord will protect me" replied the farmer.

 

A few hours later another rescue boat came by and the farmer replied to their offer of help with "No thanks, the Lord will protect me."

 

The flood had come up to the tip of the roof, and rescuers in a helicopter saw him clinging to the tip of the roof.

 

Hovering overhead they called "GRAB THE ROPE AND PUT IT ROUND YOUR WAIST!"

 

The farmer replied "No thanks, the Lord will protect me."

 

The flood continued to rise and the farmer slipped away and was drowned.

 

When he got to the Pearly Gates he was greeted by St Peter, but just snarled at him.

 

St Peter escorted him in to be introduced to God, and said "It seems we have an unhappy customer"

 

"I'm unhappy allright you bastard" said the farmer, "you let me drown!" and in a final act of defiance "I've turned ATHEIST"

 

"What did you want me to do?" asked God, "I sent two boats and a helicopter!"

 

 

facthunter Grand Master

facthunter

Posted
Posted

So even an atheist gets to heaven? I've heard of many deathbed repentences but not many deathbed sudden loss of faith, but I guess I'm spoiling the story. A whole life being faithful and dropping the insurance right when you need it ? Nev

 

 

Marty_d Grand Master

Marty_d

Posted
Posted
Facthunter's words remind me of this flood story.When a flood hit the district, and the houses were covered to roof level, some rescuers in a boat came across an old farmer perched on the top of his roof.

 

"Jump in!" they called.

 

"No thanks, the Lord will protect me" replied the farmer.

 

A few hours later another rescue boat came by and the farmer replied to their offer of help with "No thanks, the Lord will protect me."

 

The flood had come up to the tip of the roof, and rescuers in a helicopter saw him clinging to the tip of the roof.

 

Hovering overhead they called "GRAB THE ROPE AND PUT IT ROUND YOUR WAIST!"

 

The farmer replied "No thanks, the Lord will protect me."

 

The flood continued to rise and the farmer slipped away and was drowned.

 

When he got to the Pearly Gates he was greeted by St Peter, but just snarled at him.

 

St Peter escorted him in to be introduced to God, and said "It seems we have an unhappy customer"

 

"I'm unhappy allright you bastard" said the farmer, "you let me drown!" and in a final act of defiance "I've turned ATHEIST"

 

"What did you want me to do?" asked God, "I sent two boats and a helicopter!"

Reminds me of another one.

 

A public servant dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. (This is a joke, not a theological position...)

 

Anyway, the gates open, there's a fanfare of trumpets, fireworks, a full-on parade... the whole thing. While the bloke is standing there wondering what all the fuss is about, St Peter strides up and shakes his hand. "Welcome!" he says.

 

"Thanks..." says the bloke. "But what's all this about?"

 

"What's it all about??" says St Peter. "You're the oldest man who ever lived! One hundred and thirty nine years old! Well done - welcome to eternal rest at last!"

 

"139??" says the public servant. "I think there's been a mistake... I'm only sixty-eight!"

 

Frowning, St Peter whips out a laptop and checks the bloke's record. His brow clears.

 

"Ah... I see where we went wrong... we went by your time sheets..."

 

 

bexrbetter Newbie

bexrbetter

Posted
Posted
So even an atheist gets to heaven? I've hard of many deathbed repentances

Yuh, like the bulk of the Nazi's at Nuremberg, they repented, "found Christ" at the last minute so yep, they get a gold ticket to Heaven, this is the same forgiving god who didn't bother to intervene while those same Nazi's killed 5 or 6 million Jews, let alone the sum total of some 50 million innocents many praying for help the whole time.

 

So it's obviously ok to do whatever the hell you want in life and repent on your deathbed.

 

But of course there's something in the Bible to cover that.

 

 

facthunter Grand Master

facthunter

Posted
Posted

So after the flood where did all the water go? All the occupants would have eaten each other after a week anyhow and the Gene pool would have been weak, breeding from such a small sample. Sea creatures would not have to have been part of the Ark solution either because they don't drown in water. It's a fairly silly yarn.Nev

 

 

turboplanner Newbie

turboplanner

Posted
Posted

Someone did the maths to show there was not enough ice, water and moisture on earth to cover all the land, and you would spend a few lifetimes capturing two of every species, but there are flood legends in many unrelated civilisations.

 

The latest information I've read suggests the Biblical version may be based on the end of the last ice age, when the mediterranean sea was created over what was previously a river which flowed from east to west out through the Pillars of Heracles.

 

The suggestions is 'the world" referred to to the "world" of the people who lived in and around the area now covered by the Mediterranian.

 

 

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