The Random thought thread

[red750]

John Travolta is thinking of moving to Australia.

 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-13906011/John-Travolta-surprising-plan-Australia.html?ito=social-facebook

[Marty_d]

Jeez, how do you actually find the article among all those ads??

[willedoo]

I've been trying to learn Facebook English so I can navigate my way through Facebook Marketplace. It's a very economic language. Take the English words 'totally rooted'. They are replaced in Facebook English with one single word - 'rustic'.  A saving of seven letters and three syllables.

[Marty_d]

4 hours ago, willedoo said:

I've been trying to learn Facebook English so I can navigate my way through Facebook Marketplace. It's a very economic language. Take the English words 'totally rooted'. They are replaced in Facebook English with one single word - 'rustic'.  A saving of seven letters and three syllables.

Real estate talk is even more efficient.

"So tiny you have to go outside to turn around" becomes "cosy".

[willedoo]

Jimmy Carter turned 100 a couple of days ago

[onetrack]

I'd be disappointed if I got to 99, and didn't make 100! I've known several people who did that, they died just a few months short of their 100th.

[old man emu]

I'm wondering if my Mum will. She's got 59 weeks to go. 

[pmccarthy]

My mum had 2 1/2 years to go, but she fell badly and that was that.

[Marty_d]

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

I'd be disappointed if I got to 99, and didn't make 100! I've known several people who did that, they died just a few months short of their 100th.

There's an inherent paradox in that statement... if the event which causes the disappointment is your death, when are you actually disappointed?

[nomadpete]

2 hours ago, Marty_d said:

There's an inherent paradox in that statement... if the event which causes the disappointment is your death, when are you actually disappointed?

You'll have to ask someone who has had the experience. That presupposes an afterlife. Which there isn't. If there really is a life after death I'd read about it in the Tripadvisor Reviews.

[nomadpete]

Here's a random thing, just in case you thought such events don't really happen.......

 

Today I got paged to a Fire Brigade callout.

 

" [location] - RESCUE, TECHNICAL. ELDERCARE, [address xxxx]  77 YO MALE TRAPPED IN SHOWER CHAIR BY TESTICLES"

 

I really realy sympathise - this unfortunate bloke, cold, wet, naked, and surrounded by giggling staff while they wait for the fire brigade to arrive. With ladders and hoses.

In the words of SFM... "I don't hold the hose..."

[willedoo]

I have terrible visions of that scene in There's Something About Mary.

[spacesailor]

Been there , done that ! .

But, I didn't get a " death certificate " .

Just woke up in the ' morgue ' .

And can't take ' cudo's ' , as another participant in England's testing of " penicillin "  , took that honour. 

and She went on a TV show. To explain the ' testing of penicillin ' in the UK .

I often wonder how many of that original 100 penicillin

( volunteers ) are still living . ( Osteomyelitis).

spacesailor

 

 

[onetrack]

I'd be questioning the abilities and qualifications of the people who designed a shower chair that could easily trap ones testicles!

 

I could well imagine that company won't get a second chance at the next shower chair tender for supply of same!

[willedoo]

I'd say nuts to that brand of chair.

[willedoo]

I wonder if he was trying to save a few bob by using a plastic garden chair. Some of them have slots in the seat part.

[nomadpete]

The plastic seat tends to crack in the middle. The crack is not easily seen but when weight is applied, the seat spreads and the crack opens enough for things to drop through. When the weight is removed (he tries to stand), the seat springs back, closing the crack. Ouch. I still don't understand why they called the Fire Brigade.

[willedoo]

For some reason I ended up with two shower chairs. One is a thin seat, probably the nutcracker seat mentioned above. The other is a thick extruded type of material, strong and hollow inside a bit like  a kid's plastic belly board. I'd say the nads would be safe with it.

[old man emu]

1 hour ago, nomadpete said:

I still don't understand why they called the Fire Brigade.

The Fire Brigade is the designated rescue service in most States.

[onetrack]

It's obvious, innit? - it's because the Fire Brigade has all the specialised tools for nut extraction!

[willedoo]

At the age of 77, those nuts were probably Whitworth. One old tool and two nuts to undo.

[Marty_d]

5 hours ago, nomadpete said:

Here's a random thing, just in case you thought such events don't really happen.......

 

Today I got paged to a Fire Brigade callout.

 

" [location] - RESCUE, TECHNICAL. ELDERCARE, [address xxxx]  77 YO MALE TRAPPED IN SHOWER CHAIR BY TESTICLES"

 

I really realy sympathise - this unfortunate bloke, cold, wet, naked, and surrounded by giggling staff while they wait for the fire brigade to arrive. With ladders and hoses.

In the words of SFM... "I don't hold the hose..."

Poor bugger. Kind of laughing but wincing. The problem is that age and gravity extend any hanging appendages. 

Did you have to operate the jaws of life Peter? Hope it wasn't "mechanic's view".

[pmccarthy]

A new definition of always from Officeworks:

 

We check our competitors’ prices daily, then drop ours. So you always get the lowest price, guaranteed.

*Exclusions apply.

[nomadpete]

9 hours ago, willedoo said:

For some reason I ended up with two shower chairs

You shower with a friend to save water?

 

7 hours ago, Marty_d said:

Poor bugger. Kind of laughing but wincing. The problem is that age and gravity extend any hanging appendages. 

Did you have to operate the jaws of life Peter? Hope it wasn't "mechanic's view".

Call me rough, but my first thought was to whip out my leatherman blade and announce..."Mate, we can do this the quick way or the slow way"

Edited October 3 by nomadpete

[old man emu]

If you bought two single shower chairs and a two-seater, would it be a Nutcracker Suite?