Are we True or simply Cultural believers in God?

[Bruce Tuncks]

I reckon that lots of "believers" are nothing of the sort.

Personally, I used to tick the "c of e " box because I reckoned this would keep me out of trouble the best.

SO... here i modestly proclaim "Tuncksies test of true belief" which means that you need to do something which makes no sense in this world if you did not believe. Anonymously giving all your money to the poor would pass my test. Getting to be the headmaster of a church school fails for sure.

Alas, I don't actually know anybody who truly believes.

[facthunter]

Maybe a "bet each Way" . Dog should sniff out any deathbed repentances surely?.  I was very religious at 20.  Nev

[nomadpete]

1 minute ago, facthunter said:

.  I was very religious at 20

I grew out of it, too

[Bruce Tuncks]

Yep Nev, suicide bombers ( I reckon they MIGHT pass the test if they were truly not coerced ) are about 17 years old.

I dunno if they are reasonably counted though....  they might have been brainwashed.

[facthunter]

They are guaranteed about 70 Virgins in heaven. God's bargaining with sex slaves on offer, the Sod. IF you know the Koran by heart you'd be pretty brainwashed, I would think , but is thinking part of it?? Many are from orphanages and they say "We use what God has given us",    IF it's such a good deal, why not send your OWN Kids? Nev

[Marty_d]

You'd have to be asking yourself what the 70 virgins did wrong, to be sentenced to serve some hairy unwashed religious fanatic for eternity.

[facthunter]

They probably can run fast or they are very ugly.  Nev

[Marty_d]

The suicide bomber pushes the button and ends up in a nun's nursing home.  "There you are sonny, your 70 virgins eagerly await!"

[facthunter]

They can't be "infidel" Virgins. You have to stick with the FIRM or all heads are off. Nev

[Marty_d]

Given all the hardline abrahamic religion's attitude to sexuality, I wouldn't be surprised if muslims had the equivalent of nunneries.

[red750]

[Bruce Tuncks]

Bugger, red, there is fine print as with all things. I never thought of that catch.

[Bruce Tuncks]

Here's a bit of trivia...Q: How do you make extra-virgin olive oil?

A: From extra-ugly olives.

[nomadpete]

Imagine the disappointment  - arriving in heaven and being presented with 70 bottles of extra Virgin olive oil

[Jerry_Atrick]

Oh... the taste of some extra virgin olive oil is to die for... and then you get more 😉

 

Edited October 27, 2023 by Jerry_Atrick

[red750]

1 hour ago, Bruce Tuncks said:

Here's a bit of trivia...Q: How do you make extra-virgin olive oil?

A: From extra-ugly olives.

Like virgin wool is from fast-running ewes

[facthunter]

Some of this is Vergin on the ridiculous..  Nev

[Bruce Tuncks]

An Australian was being shown around a farm in NZ, when they came upon a fence where a nice-looking ewe was caught by its neck.

The NZ farmer said "here is what we always do here" and he got some lipstick out of the glovebox and applied it to the ewe. Then he proceeded to root the ewe. Afterwards, he said the the Australian....  " your turn now".

The Australian said No, no,....  well maybe, ok yes but I'm  not wearing that lipstick.

[Marty_d]

I like the one about the ventriloquist who was travelling in NZ.

 

One day he comes across a farmer riding his horse, dog by his side, and a flock of sheep in front of him.

 

Ventriloquist decides to have some fun and says "Hey!  I can talk to animals, do you mind if I have a chat to your horse?"

Farmer thinks he's crazy, but says "Sure, go right ahid!"

 

Ventriloquist:  "Hey there horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Not bed thenks mate!"

 

Farmer is astounded.  He's never heard his horse talk before.

 

Ventriloquist turns to the dog:  "Hey dog, how's life?"

Dog:  "Yeh not bed.  The farmer treats me pretty will!"

 

The farmer is starting to believe this is real.  

Ventriloquist turns to the flock of sheep:  "Hey sheep, how's..."

 

But the farmer suddenly bursts in... "No - don't talk to thim!  Ispicially not thet ewe et the front - she tills fucking lies!!!"