A very sad day

[Admin]

Many of those that live in Melbourne would have heard the sad story of a 26 year old girl stabbing her mother and the police then shooting her to death over this weekend. Not tasered, not using pepper spray but shooting her to kill her. The media have been making out the daughter to be a nasty person that has murdered her mother and the mother to have been a saint.

 

Well, I can tell you that the daughter, her name was Carly, was a good friend of my Son Lachlan. Carly has been over to our place many times and was a kind gentle girl.

 

Now, the real story is Carly was severely abused throughout her 26 years. Carly suffered mental illnesses as a result and also had ADHD, depression and much more. Because of all this Carly attracted many undesirables in her life and the wrong crowds. Carly was slipping into the deepest, darkest hole over the last couple of weeks that no one could ever have to be in, but had no one to help her. Can you imagine that if you were so far down a hole but wanted to live and needed help to climb out and the only person was the person that is suppose to protect and help you, was the underlying cause of the life you had and failed you. YOU WOULD SNAP and fall down that hole where there was no bottom

 

Last week Corrine and I talked and we asked Carly over for dinner, suppose to have been last night. We were going to tell Carly that we were here to help and support her. We were going to ask Carly to move in to our home, look after here, get her the medical help she needed, a job and show her all the loving that a parent is suppose to give no matter what. Caitlin who is currently doing her Masters Degree in Social Work was going to be her right hand and help guide Carly. We had it all worked out as Carly had always admired the family we have and adored my son Lachlan.

 

That was to be all done last night (saturday) but all this was stopped because Carly was shot dead by police on Friday night.

 

For FuK sake, all she needed was someone to help her

 

Carly, you can now rest in peace and I am so so so sorry that we didn't step in sooner, even just 2 days sooner

[facthunter]

A terrible experience for you and your family, Ian  Pat and I  wish you and your FAMILY the strength to Cope with this. Unfortunately, this type of situation is not as rare as one might Hope and you did what you could  and can't take the blame in any way for the dreadful outcome that eventuated. Be with  your wonderful family and be the comfort and support you do for each other so well. . You have our number,  Mate.  Nev

[octave]

What an awful story but important to share

[nomadpete]

Thank you Ian.

There is always more to a story than what the media present.

 

[onetrack]

Ian, that really is a terribly sad story and just shows how puerile and shallow the media can be. As the Police - well, I wouldn't like to be that officer, but they're trained to use firearms when it appears all else is failing. However, many of these young policemen and women lack life experiences and good judgement, and are told to act fast to defuse situations.

I'm sure the copper who sighted the mother being stabbed was totally unaware of the entire story, and had to act on just what he/she could see in front of them at that moment. Tasers are not as effective as many think they are. I've seen a violent criminal out of his mind on drugs being tasered repeatedly and he just shrugged it off and kept climbing a high chain mesh fence.

[Admin]

Carly was a petite 26yo girl. The cops didn't have tasers but had pepper spray

 

[old man emu]

I'm sorry to say, Ian, and with all the respect and sympathy I can muster for the young woman now that I know her background, that I honestly believe that in this particular case, the police had only one resort and that was to deadly force. My reason for saying that is that, as it has been reported, she was in the very act of stabbing when the police acted. That really is the one and only time that I could justify the use of deadly force as opposed to all other means of causing a person to stop what they are doing.

 

I think that you would do the young woman a great service if you stood up to the media for her and actually told her story to explain why things had come to this. It would take a lot of courage on your part, but I think that it would be the right thing to do. If you didn't her name would be besmirched for all time.  

[Admin]

Thanks OME, I have already done that

https://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/breaking-disturbing-texts-from-woman-who-stabbed-her-mum-then-was-shot-dead-by-police-are-revealed/news-story/b6f29723546a0315f4e10b655aecd496

[Marty_d]

Ian, so sorry for your family's loss here.  What you've said to the reporters certainly gives a more balanced and nuanced view of her than was first reported.

[rgmwa]

Unfortunately a bit too nuanced as regards why she was so distressed but I guess they have to be careful in what they say. It was very good of you to try to help Ian. Not everybody would have done that. So sorry it ended the way it has.

Edited March 11 by rgmwa

[spenaroo]

These days I dont think her size has anything to do with it.
plenty of petite female police... cant assume its two big blokes anymore

just an awful situation.

I honestly think our mental health support is shameful in this country - as is the response to abuse.

I got really lucky with mine.
but dated several girls who are in a similar situation.

 

(in the last year ive dated 5 girls, 3 have been in abusive relationships, 4 had experienced sexually assault. - and they are clean living, intelligent and from a good environment woman)

 

some who go for a stay with grippy socks for a week or two - to get turfed straight back into the same environment as soon as they are no-longer an immediate danger to themselves

and its really expensive to get regular counseling - I should be, qualify under a mental health plan (10 sessions a year)

But I haven't had a check-up in ages as its not bulked billed - so the out of pocket difference is still $80-100

[Marty_d]

I think it's because the system isn't set up for it.  Our emergency departments (although fairly overwhelmed) are great when you present with obvious physical injuries.  But mental health, though equally as important, is far harder to triage and more expensive to treat.  I don't know what the answers are but it's something that far more research needs to be done in.

[spenaroo]

Its not for a lack of qualified staff.

every second girl I was friends with in my 20's did psych.

 

couldn't get a job without a masters minimum.

so half ended up working as receptionists at clinics to get some employment and potentially get the leg up on a spot with future openings.
some continued studying and are still going for PHD's etc. and others went back and studied something else - that they could get a job in like nursing.

 

Edited March 12 by spenaroo

[Admin]

We are all professional people here...

Caitlin did her Criminology and Criminal Justice degree and is currently in her last year of her Masters in Social Work

Lachlan just finished his degree in Communication Design and completed it at Distinction Level

I have Computer Sciences and MBA and just finished working at the Dept of Justice

 

Corrine, my wife, is a trained and qualified Beauty Therapist who could train Carly up giving her a career as Carly had shown interest in this area, naturally though we were going to help Carly pursue her dreams in what she wanted to do

 

So the point I am making here is Carly would have been in great hands to help her to make something of herself unlike the crowd that she fell into. We all could see the real Carly, what was inside her and the potential she had if only she could see that herself, that's how we were going to help her

[Jerry_Atrick]

Hi Ian,

 

Delayed response - but have been most of the week away from home. Really sad to hear this and from reading it my thoughts have been with you and your family; another life needlessly lost. Can't blame the police on this; as OME says they were presented with a scenario and had to act.

 

One of the failings of humanity is that despite the immense wealth our societies have, we still can't seen to band together as a community and offer the professional interventions needed when the issues first present, and that you were prepared to do so speaks volumes.

 

May she rest in peace.

 

[Admin]

The biggest and most upsetting thing that I have been trying to handle, and brings so many tears, is that if only, if only Corrine and I acted immediately asking her to come over and not a week later to have her over for dinner and a sit down together with Carly, she would be here in our home alive, more relaxed and being helped, listened to and supported.

 

Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and advice

[facthunter]

It's not fair to your self to put that on you. We can't know the future and there will always be "what ifs"..  Nev

[nikita6]

On 12/03/2024 at 5:28 AM, Marty_d said:

I think it's because the system isn't set up for it.  Our emergency departments (although fairly overwhelmed) are great when you present with obvious physical injuries.  But mental health, though equally as important, is far harder to triage and more expensive to treat.  I don't know what the answers are but it's something that far more research needs to be done in.

You've highlighted a critical issue in our healthcare system. Mental health often takes a backseat despite its profound impact. Increasing research and resources are crucial for better support. Your insight is invaluable.

 

[Admin]

 

Just been to Carly's funeral and it was so beautiful but was astounded by the attendance, I would say about 150 people. When we came out Corrine said to me how could there be so many people and no one stepped in to help her. Lachlan said that she had become withdrawn and that is what we saw and knew she needed help. I pray that Carly is in heaven and not judged by this traumatic event and can now Rest In Peace.