I love this blokes humour, and his article ...

[onetrack]

Maybe it's because I'm several years past my allocated "three score and ten", and I'm starting to think a lot more about my funeral arrangements - but I got a good chuckle out of this blokes take on a new funeral offering - to write your own eulogy.

 

https://www.watoday.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/i-m-glad-you-ve-come-to-my-funeral-i-ve-got-a-few-things-to-tell-you-20240813-p5k215.html

[spacesailor]

Can't read it , without " subscription " .

spacesailor

[pmccarthy]

All your mates would have to pay the subscription to read your eulogy!

[onetrack]

Spacey, the site must not trust your computer! I can read it O.K., and I don't have a subscription to the site. Try turning off your Javascript on that site.

 

Click on the two little key-looking symbols at the front of the site URL, go to "site settings" in the drop-down menu, and find "Javascript" and change it from "allow" to "block". When you close the page, you get a "reload page" message.

[spacesailor]

onetrack. 

I tried it but no ," JavaScript " in the four headings .

Running " CHROME " . will try " GOOGLE .

spacesailor

 PS. : no good there , only two headings under those ' double keys ' .

Edited August 30 by spacesailor

[onetrack]

Javascript is under the "site settings" in those four headings. Click on "site settings" to get another drop-down menu with the Javascript settings and options.

 

Edited August 30 by onetrack

[spacesailor]

No " site settings " so given up .

Can't find " jave script  " either. 

spacesailor

[Jerry_Atrick]

14 hours ago, spacesailor said:

onetrack. 

I tried it but no ," JavaScript " in the four headings .

Running " CHROME " . will try " GOOGLE .

spacesailor

 PS. : no good there , only two headings under those ' double keys ' .

https://kb.iu.edu/d/bcyv

[old man emu]

On 29/08/2024 at 6:50 PM, onetrack said:

but I got a good chuckle out of this blokes take on a new funeral offering

To save spacey and some of the rest of us, would you provide a precis of what the bloke said, please?

[onetrack]

Here's the entire article....

 

I’m glad you’ve come to my funeral. I’ve got a few things to tell you.

Doug Hendrie
Freelance writer
August 28, 2024 — 5.00pm

In Australia, the dramatic repertoire you can draw on at funerals is very limited. Unlike other cultures, we don’t go hard on proper grief. There’s usually no grasping handfuls of dirt. No rending of your garments. You can cry – even ugly cry – but no one really leans into the melodramatic potential of the occasion.

And that’s before you get to the eulogy. There’s a strong hint in the name – eulogy means “praise” – of what’s expected. The rules are to say nice things, even if you had a very complex relationship with the person.

At least, that was the case. Until now.

 

This month, everything changed thanks to a man touched by the gods. He goes by the name of Dan Thomas, and he’s a biographical filmmaker based in Melbourne who has had the idea of allowing people to record their own eulogies.

Now, you can do your own version of the Pauline Hanson video (“Fellow Australians, if you are seeing this now, I am dead”). You can throw out the rule book about funerals and speak from beyond the grave.

For $1500, you can force everyone important in your life to sit on a pew while you lie serenely in your casket, clutching some roses and looking dignified and very mournable, and then you hit them with a 10-minute monologue on any topic of your choice.

For his part, Thomas is pitching this as a respectful way to connect the dead with the living, saying: “It’s humbling to help someone create a eulogy that captures the heart, soul and purpose of their life.”

I love that he believes in the innate goodness of humanity. That people will use it to make their funerals like all the funerals before them, all black-clad and weepy.

 

But I believe many humans are delightful freaks with a thin veneer put on to make society function. And the ability to give your own eulogy rips it right off. Off comes the Band-Aid, hairs and all. Off comes the mask you’ve worked at for decades. And there you are, the real you. Your final, true form, given a voice.

It is the most glorious madness I’ve seen in years. Just imagine what you could do with this power. You’ll be gone. You’ve cut out the middleman, your eulogiser and praise-giver. There is no right of reply. You’re showing people who you actually were.

 

If you have lived a delightfully petty life, you could use your monologue to settle scores or to crow a little. Just think, your funeral could be one great Festivus celebration in which you could air your grievances in true Frank Costanza-style, without anyone else sharing theirs.

Or if you’ve got a lovely spicy brain, you could use the time to finally make people listen to your special interest. Finally, you can tell people the goddamned truth, which is that from an engineering point of view, German tanks in the early years of World War II were vastly superior to anything the Allies had. That it took Soviet and American factories churning out cheap crappy tanks like tin cans to overwhelm the Tiger.

 

As for me, I’m gonna go surreal. I’ll get a dodgy AI to write me the script, and then I’ll deliver it deadpan.

“We are gathered here today to acknowledge the passing of Doug Hendrie,” I will intone.

I will drone on, making it as monotonous and boring as possible. “Doug was a man who lived a life marked by routine and consistency. He was not one for grand gestures or dramatic events. Instead, he preferred to carry out his duties with a methodical and unremarkable efficiency.

“His hobbies, if one could call them that, were centred around [insert hobbies], activities he engaged in with a notable lack of flair but a consistent level of engagement.

Doug’s interactions with others were characterised by a polite and unassuming demeanour. He maintained a steady presence, offering little in the way of excitement or unpredictability.”

I will finish. I will bow to the camera. I will climb into a fake coffin made of cardboard and wave a white flag.

And by God, you will all sit there and watch it, and you will come away bewildered, and saying the only words truly fitting for such a solemn occasion, words former US president George Bush famously uttered after sitting through the inauguration of Donald J. Trump: “That was some weird shit.”

 

Doug Hendrie is a Melbourne writer.

[old man emu]

I attended the funeral of a woman who had been one of my lecturers at uni, then became the local mayor and finally local member. She did something similar which the mourners all agreed was "something Liz would do" so that tears would not be shed.

[red750]

For future reference in enabling/disabling JavaScript in Chrome browser, see below.

 

 

1 in the top red arrow indicates the "keys" Octave referred to. They appear when you open your email (yahoo, bing, gmail, whatever). The dropdown menu shown will appear.

 

2. The Javascript option will appear and will show allowed/not allowed.

 

3. Slide the black dot to the right to activate, or left to deactivate.