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Posted

The wedding .....

 

A father texts his son:

 

"My Dear Son,

 

Today is a day you will treasure for all the days of your life.

 

My best love and good wishes.

 

Your Father."

 

His Son texts back:

 

"Thanks Dad. But the wedding isn't actually until tomorrow!"

 

His Father replies:

 

"I know."

 

 

Posted

A Journalist says that. . . 'Studies have revealed' . . . .( I love that phrase don't you ? ) that ANIMALS are capable of being suicidally stressed . . . .

 

Hmmmm. . .

 

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58164825_SUICIDALSTRESS.thumb.jpg.781710e36f4cb6cbe47d1b4ec296b3eb.jpg

Posted

'Genuine' Priest's VAMPIRE KILLING KIT' from 16th century. . . .

 

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Regrettably. . .only sufficient Ammo to sort out THREE Vampires. . . .

 

( Dunno what the Flintlock was for,. . .and the silver bullets,. . . .Werewolves perhaps ? ? ? ? But I tell you what. .. that's a REAL Serious looking mallet. . . . )

 

1569182800_VAMPIREKILLINGKIT.thumb.jpg.75b5eec52a91b25349ef3392d0b4526b.jpg

Posted

Yeah... like their witch trials. Drown the woman in the river for a while then pull her up... if she's alive, then she's obviously a witch and gets burned at the stake. If she's dead, well... she was innocent after all, sorry about that love, sh*t happens...

 

 

Posted

Policeman: "Can you describe the person who drove off without paying?"

 

Sanjay, the pump operator, "Oh my goodness, yes. His long dangley thing had a hood at the end."

 

Policeman: "Well, that eliminates all the Jews."

 

 

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