GRIPES

[slartibartfast]

Hi Phil.

 

I'm so impressed that you have corresponded with Sir Douglas Adams. Well he's a knight in my mind (a long dark knight) - he just didn't live long enough for the Queen to get around to it.

 

While I'm typing - another gripe.

 

Grammar.

 

It's the difference between knowing your sh1t,

 

and knowing you're sh1t.

 

Pay attention forumites.

 

 

[damkia]

Hi Phil.I'm so impressed that you have corresponded with Sir Douglas Adams. Well he's a knight in my mind (a long dark knight) - he just didn't live long enough for the Queen to get around to it.

 

While I'm typing - another gripe.

 

Grammar.

 

It's the difference between knowing your sh1t,

 

and knowing you're sh1t.

 

Pay attention forumites.

.....or the Benny Hill classic

 

"What is that on the road a/head?" ("a head" or "ahead")

 

Insert a comma somewhere in the middle....

 

What, is that on the road ahead?

 

What is that, on the road ahead?

 

What is that on, the road ahead?

 

What is that on the road, a head?

 

 

[Phil Perry]

My Mum used to be an English teacher ( I didn't make the grade to her college as oi woz a little bit 'tik as a lad, and wasted homework time building model planes which never flew very well. . . BUT she did help me to spell things correctly by routinely slapping me over the head with a wet teatowel when in error. . . . I didn't discover advanced "Wordsmithing" until rather later along the timeline. ( Did you know - - - - - that the study of WORDS is called (wait for it... ) P H I L O L O G Y ? ? ? ? ?

 

Possibly a coincidence, but. . .I'm nonetheless impressed.

 

 

[Guest SAJabiruflyer]

My gripe - Sunday morning cyclists, GET OFF THE BLOODY ROAD!

There I feel better now!

They do... When they park their bikes outside their local coffee shop and sit with fellow Lycra wearers enjoying a double decaf skim latte

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Double decaff - skim latte ? Ahhhh this is why I have to blow that 'orrible froth off me coffee when I get it from bleeding mcdonalds in the early mornings. . . . I often complain that it's too cold, . . . taken 'em back a couple of times, the response is usually "Well. . . .we had a lawsuit in the USA not long back, where a Lady customer came to the drive-in and put her hot coffee between her legs and drove off.

 

She then drove over a speed hump and the contents of the cup were spilled onto her upper thighs and holy of holies with painful results ( especially for the McDonalds corporation, which had to pay out a couple of hundred thousand US dollars to placate her lawyers. ). This why you can only get a cup of bloody lukewarm coffee on the way to work at a mcdonalds outlet (lower case intentional) Bloody litigous yanks. . . . .

 

I found the cure, I located three roadside "Butty Bar" caravans in the various directions in which I tend to travel, and now have them well trained, I order my morning drink with the command : COFFEE, WITH POSITIVE THERMAL RUNAWAY PLEASE. ( Sorry, I should be asking them. . . ."Thanks" ) This way, I can read my morning newspaper, and enjoy a hot drink, which lasts right thru to the "Cartoons" page, which is when I usually dump it and get going to the job. ( That is unless I just received my copy of Microlight Flying, or the LAA flying magazine, which takes a little longer and I have to order a sausage and tomato toasted sarnie as well, just to make up the reading time . . . . .)

 

However. . . .if I'm only reading the latest GOOD NEWS report from our CAA, then I only have time to bite on a Marmite / Vegemite [ same thing ] butty. ((( And before someone starts giving me a load of crap about vegemite, Trust me, over the years I've fooled generations of Aussies into thinking they were eating VM when it was REALLY proper MARMITE in a Vegemite jar. . . .! So Don't start,. . . this was a good control group, and YOU lost the argument. )))

 

No good news in a UK newspaper anyhow, dunno why I bother.

 

 

[Kyle Communications]

well those aussies obviously didn't have the teething rusks in their mouth covered in vegemite when they were babies......fooling someone with marmite is NOT possible for a genuine vegemiter

 

I am a big Dick Smith fan and buy most of his fantastic aussie supported products. I did buy the ozziemite.........sorry vegemite is still in the fridge...the ozziemite is terrible...tastes mostly like marmite...and I have been back to the old motherland a few time and tried the marmite there and it is NOT the same.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Don't sweat it Kyle. . . . .

 

I'm only joking, It's all a mater of TASTE really, eg, I prefer my witchety grubs lightly blanched in a very hot wok with a bit of sunflower oil, some of cumin and a pinch of paprika. . . ., then chucked in a nice salad, sprinkled with an oxo cube and some mozzarella cheese.. Lovely. . . ( followed by a bit of thick toast liberally spread with proper butter and V E G E M I T E.

 

I DO have a couple of young cargo/airline pilot and cabin crew contacts who frequent those places whereupon the genuine dark substance may be legally purchased . . . .

 

OH, YES,. . . . . and another thing, I was only in Australia for 12 years BUT, it appears that when I get a liitle inebriated ( often around the Chrismas period. . . ) I often begin speaking with a very slight Australian accent. . . Got into a taxi last night and said "G'Day mate, can you take me to ( my address ) ? " The Asian driver replied, " AAHHHH - - -you're from New Zealand I see. . . . ."

 

The immediate response from my mate Ade ( Born in Melbourne ) was. . . " Don't come the raw prawn with him sport - - or he'll probably show you what nasty things he can do with the rough end of a pineapple" ( ? ) ( Apologies to Barry Crocker for nicking his line. . . )

 

 

[kgwilson]

My Gripe... :gaah:Banks and their bloody financial advisors or just financial advisors or mortgage brokers who are free because banks pay them a fortune & then take it all back from you with exorbitant interest rates and fees and charges like annual management fees and exit fees. Some even call them deferred application fees. What a crock. Ask them what these fees actually cover. They can't tell you. I know because I have asked. The way to get one over them though is to have a lot of money & then set your own terms. Pity that this excludes 99% of their customers victims. In 1994 I followed the advice of a financial advisor and as expected (now) lost most of my money. Since then I follow my own advice/instinct & it works a hell of a lot better than theirs.

 

I went to a Storm Financial seminar in 07. They were exhorting their customers to invest big as the market was going down. No money? No worries, take out an even bigger mortgage. I got up & told them it sounded more like a pyramid or ponzi scheme than financial advice to me. I nearly got kicked out but managed to stay long enough to eat the nice tucker they'd ordered & tell everyone else not to go near them with the proverbial. Some listened, some didn't. Those who didn't lost their houses/pension/life savings. Some have managed to get a bit back from their main backer though. You guessed it our biggest bank.

 

There are people that are happy with Banks though. These are their senior management & directors or ex of each sitting back with massive shareholdings ready to flog them off as soon as their mates now in the driving seat give them the nod when they can see a cliff along the financial road ahead.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

I did a similar stupid thing KG, when I got back to the UK in the early 1980s, . . . I went to a well recommended high street financial advice centre, and they managed the fund SO WELL,. . . They lost me £7,000 in a matter of months before I put a stop to it.

 

Real clever that. It was OK though, as THEY more than likely made a huge commission placing my dough in dodgy investments.

 

Yer live, (And hopefully ) yer learn. ( By the way . . . what's a Sierra 100 ? . . . . Just curious )

 

Happier New Year.

 

Phil.

 

 

[kgwilson]

( By the way . . . what's a Sierra 100 ? . . . . Just curious )Phil.

My Avatar is the pointy end of one. It is a locally designed all aluminium 2 seat ultralight. The 100 is amateur built & the 200 factory built. Have a look at www.morganaeroworks.com.au for details.

 

Cheers

 

Kevin

 

 

[Gnarly Gnu]

Why do we need a 'Gripes' thread when there is a whole 'Governing Bodies' section on this site that is used for this?

 

 

[Phil Perry]

My Avatar is the pointy end of one. It is a locally designed all aluminium 2 seat ultralight. The 100 is amateur built & the 200 factory built. Have a look at www.morganaeroworks.com.au for details.

Cheers

 

Kevin

 

Nice looking aeroplane Kevin, I've had a look at their site, good range of appliances there ! Don't know if I want to get into building another one though, been involved in the building of four so far, and restoring two. . . . I'd rather do some more flying !!

 

Phil

 

 

[Head in the clouds]

Tasmanians Tassie devils are not welcoming to "mainlanders". They must be doing things they want to keep to themselves. Among themselves they seem to smile a lot, so it must be fun. Most of them are descended from about 4 families, if you go back far enough. I think they keep warm by cuddling, but not with strangers, unless no-ones watching. I have travelled there many times and it's a great piece of real estate..Nev

I just wish the Tassies would stop calling the rest of Australia the North Island!

 

 

[Sapphire]

KG said:I went to a Storm Financial seminar in 07. They were exhorting their customers to invest big as the market was going down. No money? No worries, take out an even bigger mortgage. I got up & told them it sounded more like a pyramid or ponzi scheme than financial advice to me. I nearly got kicked out but managed to stay long enough to eat the nice tucker they'd ordered & tell everyone else not to go near them with the proverbial.

 

I used to go to some of those things but eventually only went for the free feed. If you keep your mouth stuffed with their food you cant complain about their rip off tactics.

 

 

[facthunter]

Mainlanders is the proper term, for Taswegians to refer to the rest of Oz. Northislanders will never catch on. Big, "main" is easy. North is hard cause it is not as easy to work out and not everyone knows where it is. Anyhow Kiwiland got it first. They know what north and south means. Clever bu88ers, punching above their weight.. Nev

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Clever New Zealanders Nev ? Isn't that a debatable contradiction in terms ?

 

I've been to NZ a few times, ( both bits ) and have always wondered how people can live happily in a place which is, er,. . . geologically unstable. . . . ( North Island that is. . . .) I'd get a bit worried about that, I wouldn't mind dying heroically at the helm of a stricken Concorde, or even having my fin ripped off by another pilot travelling in a reciprocal direction, who misunderstood an airways clearance,. . . but what I really Don't fancy, is being cremated in hot rock BEFORE I are dedded.

 

I once flew out of Honolulu at night on a cargo flight. . ., and that volcano Kilawayoyououu or whatever it's called, ( Sorry I don't trust Wikkkkkipaedia, so don't read it... ) was spewing molten rock across the island and down into the sea,. . . quite a spectacular sight at night time really, but, I thought,. . . there are PEOPLE living just down the road !!! No thanks, I'd rather live somewhere really UN-EXCITING, like, Chipping Sodbury, Manchester, Wangaratta, Stanthorpe, Rainbow, Dubbo, coona barra barrabarrabran. . . . . . . or even. . . Melbourne.

 

Phil X

 

Oh and by the way. . . .did you have a happy new year ?? I didn't, as on the stroke of midnight. . . . the cheese and kisses asked me to let off the twelve big rockets we had left after Guy Fawkes Night ( last November 5th, for you Non- English History Buffs ) So I did that, and got a visit from the plod this morning,[ Jan 1st ] who said I should have fired them from the Back garden, and not the front . . . . . . . ( Bloody jobsworths. . . ) Okay, they Were Big and Loud. . . . { bit like me really. . . . } Waiting to see if they're going to prosecute. . . . . .

 

 

[facthunter]

Life is a bit harder in NZ. That's why so many of them come here. There's not enough of them left over there to pay for roads , bridges airports etc The thing that got me last time was having to pay to leave Christchurch. I didn't damage it . It did it to itself. After I left.

 

Any how they have those sort of taxes here too.

 

English history? I thought England WAS history. Rockets . They are what you get when you do something wrong. As for yours, wouldn't where they go be more important than where they come from? Nev

 

 

[Head in the clouds]

....... a visit from the plod this morning,[ Jan 1st ] who said I should have fired them from the Back garden, and not the front . . . . . . . Waiting to see if they're going to prosecute. . . . . .

Tell 'em it is your back garden, it's just the house is facing the wrong way....

 

 

[Gnarly Gnu]

I've been to NZ a few times, ( both bits ) and have always wondered how people can live happily in a place which is, er,. . . geologically unstable. . . .

Ha, I venture to suggest some New Zealanders may wonder how you can live in the economically unstable UK whilst being choked lifeless with senseless regulations and PC....

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Ha, I venture to suggest some New Zealanders may wonder how you can live in the economically unstable UK whilst being choked lifeless with senseless regulations and PC....

Eh ? Oh, I see. . . Well, we just ignore the rules we don't like, ( that comes from the French side of the family ) and I don't do PC, I prefer MAC., but thanks for asking anyway, I do appreciate it.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Tell 'em it is your back garden, it's just the house is facing the wrong way....

Like it ! ! ! ! ! but can't always engage the snappy responses quickly enough ( ! ) after copious imbibement of brain relaxant fluids. . . . .

 

Nah, aparently, they are not going to bother with a ticket. . . . . no evidence. Didn't leave any dna on the fuses.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

What is it now?. Pouring down one day, cyclone the next. Nev

Trouble is,. . . you get used to ruddering one way to counteract the effects of yer cyclone, and the darned things twist the opposite way around when you get back to the UK ! ! ! ! I wish that eytie bloke, what was his name again , ? Charlie Coriolis ? ? Wish he's sorted out his left from his other side earlier on. . . .

 

 

[Tomwantstobeapilot]

I just wish the Tassies would stop calling the rest of Australia the North Island!

We don't, only mainlanders or just Australians :-)

 

I'm in southern Tassie though (near Hobart) so maybe Launcestonians are the guilty ones?

 

Tom

 

 

[facthunter]

I started calling the devils, Taswegians( which I thought was a promotion) and some got offended. Seems I can't please anybody. Tasman was a dutch person. I haven't heard from the NORwegians complaining yet, but perhaps SUDwegians would be more appropriate. Surely there are worse things than wegians. Nev

 

 

[Phil Perry]

I started calling the devils, Taswegians( which I thought was a promotion) and some got offended. Seems I can't please anybody. Tasman was a dutch person. I haven't heard from the NORwegians complaining yet, but perhaps SUDwegians would be more appropriate. Surely there are worse things than wegians. Nev

You'e probably right Nev, . . . but I guess it COULD be a Wegional thing, depending upon what wegion we are born in ?