Is this Real I wonder ?. . .or Stirring . . .

[Phil Perry]

Phil thinks that the second paragraph in #20 is funny. I was being deadly serious.

My' 'Funny' reaction, was not intended to detract from you seriousness OME. . . I have long since given up holding doors open for anyone after some rather unexpected and insulting comments were made about what were simply acts of common courtesy conducted by a bloke with good manners ingrained by a good upbringing. If people in general prefer to have our customs reduced to the lowest common denominator then so be it.

 

 

[octave]

My' 'Funny' reaction, was not intended to detract from you seriousness OME. . . I have long since given up holding doors open for anyone after some rather unexpected and insulting comments were made about what were simply acts of common courtesy conducted by a bloke with good manners ingrained by a good upbringing. If people in general prefer to have our customs reduced to the lowest common denominator then so be it.

I find it hard to understand why your experience of holding doors open for other people is so different from mine. I can honestly say I have never ever had a bad reaction from a man woman or child. In most cases holding a door open for another person is purely a matter of practicality. Also people (men, women are children) often hold the door open for me. Never a problem, perhaps some people don't acknowledge you but so what. I can also say in all honesty I have never wittnesed anyone creating a scene when someone has held a door open for another person. I don't really see this as a gender issue, maybe that is why my experiences are different to yours.

 

 

[Jerry_Atrick]

No doubt there are some out there that easily take offence at anything - I think they are more looking for a fight than really ideological about whatever barrow they are pushing. I reckon Phil has had his fair share of them.

 

I have had people walk through dorrways I have opened for them, with their heads down and a gruff.. But I took it as no more than grumpy people who are simply unappreciative - or inattentive and while subconciously realsiing the door was open and they walked through, were consciously in a different world.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

I find it hard to understand why your experience of holding doors open for other people is so different from mine. I can honestly say I have never ever had a bad reaction from a man woman or child. In most cases holding a door open for another person is purely a matter of practicality. Also people (men, women are children) often hold the door open for me. Never a problem, perhaps some people don't acknowledge you but so what. I can also say in all honesty I have never wittnesed anyone creating a scene when someone has held a door open for another person. I don't really see this as a gender issue, maybe that is why my experiences are different to yours.

I am sorry that you do not understand my personal experiences. I do not give a damn what 'Gender' strangers identify as either. I though I made it fairly clear that I have always interacted with others within the norms of respect. The last time I held a door open was for a Lady in a wheelchair in Birmingham City Centre, when the 'Automatic Door'at the front reception of my Daughter's Office building did not function. I was castigated by the Lady who seemed most upset. . . I'd prefer now to let them get on with it Octave,. . .I am really now too old at 67.5 to completely unlearn a lifetime of good manners and courtesy. . . .

 

 

[octave]

I have had people walk through dorrways I have opened for them, with their heads down and a gruff.. But I took it as no more than grumpy people who are simply unappreciative - or inattentive and while subconciously realsiing the door was open and they walked through, were consciously in a different world.

 

Yep that does happen but if 1 in 10 people seem gruff I write that off and I balance it against the positive interactions. Any interaction with a stranger does require a bit of social intelligence. As a daily walker when I pass another person coming the other way my inclination is say good morning or g'day or something but it is important to realize that some people don't want to interact (and sometimes I don't want to) It does take a little bit of skill to quickly judge someones body language to gauge whether they want an interaction or not. Occasionally I will say hi to someone who will look the other way and not reply, this is fine, my point of view has always been a tendency to put it out there and most of the time it is good, when the reaction is not so positive it is no problem for me, I am secure enough to not take it personally

 

 

[Bruce]

Phil, you are just a kid who lacks experience. I am 71 and know better.

 

Jerry etc are right here and you should not take offense at some rude person.

 

 

[willedoo]

I think casual interaction with strangers depends on where you are, where you live, and the demographics of those around you.

 

As an example, start off in the northern part of South Australia or South West Queensland and drive east towards Toowoomba and Brisbane. Everyone on the road waves to everyone else. Tourists tend to wave like those little wobbly hands the truckies used to have suction cupped on their windscreen. Locals, and those travelers used to the bush usually just extend the index finger upwards. Left or right doesn't matter, the message is still the same.

 

About 30klm west of Saint George, most of the waving stops and you start feeling like a dickhead because you're still waving and no-one else is. If you're still doing it half way between Saint George and Toowoomba, the people in the other cars look at you like you've got three heads. Get closer to Toowoomba and other drivers will just ignore you. They no longer look at you like you're a fool; they'll just ignore you and will not look at you at all with your (at this stage) pathetic little upraised digit.

 

Do it closer to Brisbane and people are starting to think you have a serious problem and could be some sort of psychotic stalker. Wave to strangers in Brisbane and you will probably end up getting arrested.

 

I remember going back 40+ years ago on the coast, it was relaxed and friendly and almost everyone knew each other. Now, 300,000 people later, with most of them moved up from major cities, things have changed a lot. I find if people don't react to a random act of friendliness, it's no problem. They're just used to living in the big smoke. A neutral reaction is all good, and I've never had a bad reaction from anyone I've been polite to.

 

 

[Marty_d]

I was coming back from dropping my cabin frame off to be welded today when a council truck came the other way. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but I was on the very narrow Kaoota road which is gravel, features steep drop on one side and steep hill on the other. So I had to reverse, with trailer, about 300m...

 

 

[old man emu]

Many side streets around here are so narrow that if there are cars parked on both sides, there is only one lane down the centre. If you meet a car coming in the opposite direction, one has to find a space to pull into to let the other pass. It is customary courtesy to give a wave of appreciation to the driver who pulled over to let you pass.

I work on the principle in similar situations that the car that would have to go to its right to get past an obstruction gives way to the car that can travel on its left hand side of the road. In other words, if you have to go to the wrong side of the road, then you should give way to the vehicle that is travelling on its correct side of the road.