facthunter Posted October 11 Posted October 11 Reminds me of the Kid who said Hey Mister the LADY... She has gone. Nev
red750 Posted October 13 Author Posted October 13 A couple were involved in a car accident and the car caught fire. The husband was badly burned and his face disfigured.The plastic surgeon could not find any suitable skin on him for a skin graft. His wife asked if she could donate some skin and a test confirmed it was compatible. The most suitable skin was from her buttocks because it was soft and smooth, and any scarring would be covered. After the operation, he met his friends and colleages to reveal his new face. Everyone was complemenary and commented how good his new skin looked. He thanked his wife and asked how he could repay her. She aid "You don't owe me anything. Just watching your mother kiss your cheek is payment enough." 1 2
red750 Posted October 13 Author Posted October 13 A dad joke from Facebook: I taught the kids about democracy last night. I had them vote on what movie to watch, and what pizza to order. Then I chose the movie and the pizza. I'm the one who had the money. 1 3
red750 Posted October 13 Author Posted October 13 Him: Why are you back from golf so soon? Her: I got stung by a bee. Him: Where? Her: Between the first and second holes. Him: Your stance is too wide. 1 2
red750 Posted October 17 Author Posted October 17 If God had meant men to fly, he would have given them more money. 1 1
red750 Posted October 19 Author Posted October 19 A young woman attended her late husband's grave every week, kneeling and placing flowers on it. When she was done, she stood, bowed and backed away from the grave. A young man observed this, and said, "I admire your respect for your husband. May I ask why you back away from the grave?" She replied, "He once said I had a backside that could raise the dead, and I don't want to take any chances." 1 1
red750 Posted October 19 Author Posted October 19 You'll never be as useless as a pilots savings account. 2 1
facthunter Posted October 19 Posted October 19 An Ashtray on a Drag bike. Some pilots make good money. Nev
nomadpete Posted October 20 Posted October 20 26 minutes ago, facthunter said: An Ashtray on a Drag bike. Some pilots make good money. Nev A rare admission, Nev. Thanks. Can you stump up a fifty until payday? 1 2
facthunter Posted October 20 Posted October 20 I never did make the big money. but the tax rate was 67% with very few deductions. My Plumber son reckoned I had a crook job. A couple of blokes building my first house reckoned I'd have to be rich till I showed them my wages slips. They offered me a job doing framing on my days off saying THEY couldn't live on what I was getting.. . Nev 1 1
red750 Posted October 20 Author Posted October 20 1 hour ago, facthunter said: Some pilots make good money. I think the comment was referring to recreational pilots. 1
spacesailor Posted October 20 Posted October 20 My nephew is a ' jet jockey ' for a large ' eastern ' airline. spacesailor. 1
spacesailor Posted October 20 Posted October 20 Just had to look ' Emirates Airlines ' up . That my nephews airlines name . I just couldn't tie the company to a country. United Arab Amirates country . spacesailor
Marty_d Posted October 21 Posted October 21 My sexy Chinese neighbour told me that she was after a good rodger. It was only after my pants were around my ankles that I realised she meant someone to share the rent. 1 3
facthunter Posted October 21 Posted October 21 She might give you a bowl of Flied Lice if you're nice. 2
red750 Posted October 22 Author Posted October 22 In Australia, it's a lift. In America, it"s an elevator. I guess we were raised differently. 2 1
facthunter Posted October 22 Posted October 22 I don't suggest waving a vehicle down and asking for an elevator.. Nev 1
old man emu Posted October 22 Posted October 22 2 hours ago, facthunter said: I don't suggest waving a vehicle down and asking for an elevator.. Nev Is "travelator" the new word for "hitch hiker"? 1
nomadpete Posted October 22 Posted October 22 14 minutes ago, old man emu said: Is "travelator" the new word for "hitch hiker"? A 'travelater' is a procrastinating tourist. 1
red750 Posted October 22 Author Posted October 22 A husband says to his wife, "The boys at the club say that our postman has slept with every woman in the street except one." The wife says, "I'll bet it was Paula." 3
red750 Posted October 22 Author Posted October 22 From "Dad Joke Reels" I told my wife, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat, you're much bigger than that." 2 1
Popular Post facthunter Posted October 22 Popular Post Posted October 22 A "travelator" is the Person who just missed the bus. Nev 3 2
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