Jerry_Atrick Posted January 1 Posted January 1 (edited) Walking with my daughter to the pub for NYE, she came up with this out of the blue: How do Elon Musk's robots procreate? SpaceX (Normally that would be a dad joke!) Edited January 1 by Jerry_Atrick 1 2 1
Marty_d Posted January 1 Posted January 1 6 minutes ago, Jerry_Atrick said: How do Elon Musk's robots procreate? I thought we already knew that... 1
onetrack Posted January 1 Posted January 1 Sorry Jerry, I don't know if it's just me or what, but the joke is over my head? 1
Marty_d Posted January 2 Posted January 2 1 hour ago, onetrack said: Sorry Jerry, I don't know if it's just me or what, but the joke is over my head? Elon owns SpaceX. Pronounced "spay...sex" Bit of a dad joke, as he said. 1 1
facthunter Posted January 2 Posted January 2 "Pay Sex" Is more honest. (So I'm told). I have NO personal experience. I like (good) sex, but I have Scottish ancestry. How do you have it IF you're spayed? Nev 1
spacesailor Posted January 3 Posted January 3 Lots of males are neutered. Only females are " spayed " . So go like ' rabbits ' without a conscience, or kids . " such is life " . spacesailor
red750 Posted January 5 Author Posted January 5 A guy is travelling through the outback and stops at a pub for a drink. When he enters the pub he sees an old man with a mgnificent beard sitting at the bar. He goes up to him and says, "I really admire your beard.How do you get it to grow so lush?" The old guy leans in to him and says, "I rub honey and chicken shit into it." The traveller says, "What?? Why/" The old man says, "The honey makes it grow, the chicken shit stops me licking my fingers." 2
red750 Posted January 6 Author Posted January 6 A guy was in a bar where he saw another guyn with a tiny head. He saked the other guy, "What happened?" The guy with the tiny head said, "I was a pilot during the war, and was shot down over the ocean, but made it to an island where I was marooned for six months. One day, a mermaid swam up and said, I will grant you three wishes. What is your first wish? "I would really like to be rescued." "Granted. A boat will be here to pick you up tomorrow." "For my second wish, I would like sufficient money to live comfortably for the rest of my life." "Granted. Invest early in these three companies, and you'll make all the money you want. Now for your last wish?" "I've been marooned here for a long time. I'd really like to make love to you." "That wish cannot be granted. I am half fish. It would not work out." "Well, how about a little head?" 1 2
onetrack Posted January 13 Posted January 13 According to the Chaser, Boeing has made a New Years resolution to stop using Clag paste in the construction of their aircraft. 😄 https://chaser.com.au/business/boeing-announces-new-years-resolution-to-stop-using-clag-paste-in-airplane-construction/ 2
Popular Post red750 Posted January 14 Author Popular Post Posted January 14 Two ladies of the night were driving around with a sign on their car saying "Ladies of the night $50". A cop pulls them over and said, "you can't have a sign like that on your car." Just then, a car goes past with a sign saying, "Repent your sins. Jesus will forgive." The ladies said, "What about that sign?" The cop says' "That's OK. It's a religious sign." Next night, the cop spots the ladies car again. He follows them, and sees their sign, "Two fallen angels looking for Peter." 1 4
nomadpete Posted January 14 Posted January 14 Speaking personally, peter led me into all sorts... of trouble. 1
red750 Posted January 15 Author Posted January 15 I'm building a model of Mt Everest. Is it to scale? No, just to look at. 2 1
ClintonB Posted Thursday at 07:58 AM Posted Thursday at 07:58 AM I hope you have a double groan emoji. 3
red750 Posted Thursday at 08:21 AM Author Posted Thursday at 08:21 AM And they say my jokes are bad. 2 1
red750 Posted Thursday at 10:15 AM Author Posted Thursday at 10:15 AM What's the definition of a gentleman? Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes . . . . . . . . but doesn't. 1 1
onetrack Posted Thursday at 11:36 AM Posted Thursday at 11:36 AM Two mates return to one blokes apartment after a long night of drinking and partying. The guest notices a giant gong on his hosts living room wall, and inquires about it. "Oh, that's my talking clock", answers his host. "A talking clock??, his mate replies. "Doesn't look anything like a clock to me, let alone a talking one?" "You don't believe me? Look, I'll show you!", his mate replies. He walks over to the gong, picks up a big lump of wood, swings it, and hits the gong with all his might. "BOOOOOONNNNNNG!!!!!" rings throughout the building. Immediately, from the apartment next door, a voice screams out, "For f***'s sake!!! - it's 2:45 in the morning!!" 1 2
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