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Posted

I said to the doctor, "I'm having difficulty with my hearing." 

 

He said, "Describe the symptoms."

 

I said "Homer is bald and Marge has blue hair."

 

 

Posted

A guy goes to the doctor with a hearing problem (yes, another one). 

 

The doctor looks in his ear and says, "There's a suppository in your ear."

 

The guy says, "Ahh. Now I know what I did with my hearing aid." 

 

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I’m sick of all these sad buggers that set off  Guy Fawkes night fireworks in mid October.

 

Our puppy is so bloody scared he won’t come out from behind the Christmas tree. . .

 

 

Posted

A blonde walks into a library. "Excuse me - can I have a burger and large fries, please"?

 

The librarian looks at her and says "Miss, this is a library".

 

The blonde leans over the counter and whispers into the librarian's ear

 

"I'm sorry, can I have a burger and large fries please?

 

 

Posted

Spectrum 48 with cassette drive was my first computer. Even if I still had the cassettes I wouldn't have anything that could read them.

 

We then upgrade to some sort of thumb type drive (cant remember details) it was the fore runner to the disk drive from memory.

 

My kids at age 37 and 39 probably don't even remember disk drives.  How far we have come.

 

 

Posted

I saw a report the other day that the US Strategic Air Command or what ever branch controls the ever ready nukes have just finished upgrading their systems from 8inch floppies.

 

Progress!!!

 

 

Posted

Maybe they are just practicing caution. I would be more worried if they were using cutting edge technology (unproven, bleeding edge) - or beta versions of software.

 

 

Posted

So true. If it works, why change it? The Russians seem to use that logic. I seem to recall that during the Cold War a captured soviet fighter plane was found to be fitted with old fashioned vacuum tubes- which I believe are less vulnerable to the EMP of a nuclear explosions than more modern gear. 

 

Generations of newer American technology has been discarded and today the only way for humans to get to the International Space Station is in machines developed by the Soviet Union in the 60s.

 

 

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

I've said it before many times and will say it again.

 

Don't care what it is, but "simplicity is the essence of reliability".

 

I too, have had a few problems with a floppy, but no longer have the drives . :smile:

 

 

Posted

Everything is being superseded and what is happening is that we are losing information.

 

I have photographs dating back many years, even before silver was the medium, They will last for a long while yet, but all those since the 1990s are digital. There is no way to recover a digital image if the software changes. We are going to have a lack of historical photos, compared with what is available from the mid 20th century.

 

That may be a good thing as future generations will look back and see how slim and fit people are in the old photos.

 

 

Posted
That may be a good thing as future generations will look back and see how slim and fit people are in the old photos.

 

As I go about the place and see all the obese people under 30 years of age, I am beginning to wonder if those born in the first half of the 20th Century are living well over their three score and ten because they didn't have, firstly an over-abundance of staple foods, and secondly an over-abundance of energy dense food in massive serving sizes. In other words, what food they were able to obtain was in smaller servings and contained either less fats or sugars.

 

You only have to look back at the crowds at World Series Cricket matches from the late 1970's to see that obesity was rare, and most often directly related to a hormone problem. Now, obesity is the norm and directly related to up-sized take-aways.

 

 

Posted

What happened to the quickies??

 

Daughter jokes ...

 

She was only a photographer's daughter, but she was very well developed.

 

She was only an artist's daughter, but she knew where to draw the line.

 

She was only an optician's daughter, but she always made a spectacle of herself.

 

She was only a drover's daughter, but she was good at keeping her calves together.

 

She was only a programmer's daughter, but her software needed no support.

 

She was only the pig farmer's daughter, but she always went the whole hog.

 

She was only the telegraph operators daughter, but she didit and didit and didit.

 

She was only the pilots daughter, but she had a lovely fur-lined cockpit.

 

She was only Shostakovich's daughter, but she certainly knew how to conduct herself.

 

She was only a carpenters daughter, but she gave everyone circular saws.

 

She was only a wood cutters daughter, but you could hear her ringbark for miles.

 

She was only the stablehands daughter, but all the horse manure.

 

 

Posted

What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynaecologist?

 

A Genealogist looks up your family tree while a Gynaecologist looks up your family bush.

 

 

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