Quickies part 2

[red750]

I read my neighbours lips yesterday. If I got it correct, they were arguing about some creepy guy next door.

[red750]

Her: "Why are your pyjamas hanging from the ceiling?"

 

Him: "You told me to stop leaving them on the floor."

[red750]

Moral Test...Read to the end before making a judgement.

This test has only one question, but it's a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which
you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

*** THE SITUATION: ***

You are in London.

There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're
caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless.

Your job is to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into

the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

*** THE TEST: ***

Suddenly, you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.
You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...

You suddenly realize who it is... It's the Muslim Cleric, Abu Hamza,
the one-eyed, hook handed bastard who hates non-Muslims and wants

the UK to become an Islamic state!!

You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

You have two options:

You can save the life of Abu or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer
Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's
most despised, evil and powerful men!

*** NOW THE QUESTION AND PLEASE GIVE AN HONEST ANSWER ***

Would you select high contrast colour film or,
would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

[facthunter]

I would chuck the camera away quickly and concentrate on swimming. Situational awareness and a brain is what dog gave me for occasion's such as this and I'd ignore your limited options as part of my survival instinct that IS GENERIC acquired over millions of years of  necessity.   Nev

[rgmwa]

Spoken with the quick and correct response of a true Aviator, Nev.  Most of us would drown gleefully clutching the prizewinning photo.

 

[facthunter]

I  was told being poor was character building but who wants CHARACTERS?   Nev

[red750]

Going back to the fireworks displays for a moment, when I lived in Sydney in the late 70's, we had friends who manufactured  and conducted fireworks displays, such as the NYE displays. The company was Howard and Sons Pyrotechnics. They do the displays from the rooftops of buildings in the Melbourne CBD on NYE. The Sydney Harbour Bridge display is done by another company, Foti Pyrotechnics.

[red750]

I tell this one for Jerry.

 

A wife asks her programmer husband to go to the store
‘Can you go down to the store, and get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.’
Later on, he returns home and she looks at his purchases and says
‘ Why do you have 6 gallons of milk?’
He responded
‘They had eggs.’

[facthunter]

Is the "Yolk" on her?  Nev

[old man emu]

5 hours ago, red750 said:

tell this one for Jerry.

Ah! The beauty if the "If ..., then .... " argument.

[facthunter]

IF they have (ANY) eggs get six (of them). You would have to be a bit odd to see it any other way. Nev

[old man emu]

I was doing my grocery shopping yesterday, and considering buying some eggs. Being that there's only me, and I really don't use a lot of eggs except for the occasional bit of baking or a Sunday breakfast treat, I thought the I would buy a half dozen carton. Half a dozen cost as much as a full dozen, but I suppose that was because the half dozen were orgasmic.

[Marty_d]

If she'd written it like this he would've been fine.

 

--initialise

milkgallons = 0;

eggs = 0;

 

--at store

milkgallons +1;

IF available_eggs >= 6    --note: originally "if available_eggs > 0" - but this would cause brain error if shop only had 3 eggs

THEN eggs + 6;

ELSE eggs = 0;

Edited February 23 by Marty_d

[old man emu]

That is reminiscent of how I have to tell my grandsons to do the washing up.

[red750]

AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

 An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

 She said, “I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked.”

 With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

 As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed: “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!”

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings (and her clothes) and quickly departed.

 The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll”

 The other answered, “I don't know - I thought you were watching the dice."

 MORAL OF THE STORY:

Not all Irish are drunks.

Not all blondes are dumb.

 But all men.... are men.

[Jerry_Atrick]

On 23/02/2024 at 2:53 AM, Marty_d said:

--initialise

milkgallons = 0;

eggs = 0;

 

--at store

milkgallons +1;

IF available_eggs >= 6    --note: originally "if available_eggs > 0" - but this would cause brain error if shop only had 3 eggs

THEN eggs + 6;

ELSE eggs = 0;

tsk tsk.. that would throw me...   The bolds are perfectly formed expressions, but not assignments...   All they would tell me is to add 1 to my counter of milkgallons and, conditionally, eggs, but not where to store them...

 

Correct syntax is:

milkgallons = mikgallons +1 (from the shop shelf, of course); or, for some languages that allow a shorthand version: milkgallons += 1;

 

And the same for the eggs...

 

Now you know why my parnter no longer bothers me to do the shopping!

 

Edited February 24 by Jerry_Atrick

[Marty_d]

Sorry Jerry - I'm used to SAS where you can iterate using the shorthand "varname +1".

[old man emu]

2 hours ago, Marty_d said:

Sorry Jerry - I'm used to SAS where you can iterate using the shorthand "varname +1".

But wouldn't you have to identify "varname" to a variable. In the example there were two variables - milk and eggs. So wouldn't you have something like varname_1 = milk varname_2 = eggs  ?

[onetrack]

If you use Python, can you expect to get any eggs at all? 

[old man emu]

35 minutes ago, onetrack said:

If you use Python, can you expect to get any eggs at all? 

Only if you syphon the python first.

[red750]

Hubby:   "Are we having salad for dinner?"

Wife: "Yes, how did you know?"

Hubby: "I didn't hear the smoke alarm."

[old man emu]

Hubby: "I didn't hear the smoke alarm."

 

[red750]

[red750]

[red750]