facthunter Posted October 11 Share Posted October 11 Reminds me of the Kid who said Hey Mister the LADY... She has gone. Nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted October 13 Author Share Posted October 13 A couple were involved in a car accident and the car caught fire. The husband was badly burned and his face disfigured.The plastic surgeon could not find any suitable skin on him for a skin graft. His wife asked if she could donate some skin and a test confirmed it was compatible. The most suitable skin was from her buttocks because it was soft and smooth, and any scarring would be covered. After the operation, he met his friends and colleages to reveal his new face. Everyone was complemenary and commented how good his new skin looked. He thanked his wife and asked how he could repay her. She aid "You don't owe me anything. Just watching your mother kiss your cheek is payment enough." 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted October 13 Author Share Posted October 13 A dad joke from Facebook: I taught the kids about democracy last night. I had them vote on what movie to watch, and what pizza to order. Then I chose the movie and the pizza. I'm the one who had the money. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted October 13 Author Share Posted October 13 Him: Why are you back from golf so soon? Her: I got stung by a bee. Him: Where? Her: Between the first and second holes. Him: Your stance is too wide. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted October 15 Author Share Posted October 15 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted Thursday at 07:40 AM Author Share Posted Thursday at 07:40 AM If God had meant men to fly, he would have given them more money. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted Saturday at 03:23 AM Author Share Posted Saturday at 03:23 AM A young woman attended her late husband's grave every week, kneeling and placing flowers on it. When she was done, she stood, bowed and backed away from the grave. A young man observed this, and said, "I admire your respect for your husband. May I ask why you back away from the grave?" She replied, "He once said I had a backside that could raise the dead, and I don't want to take any chances." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted Saturday at 10:29 PM Author Share Posted Saturday at 10:29 PM You'll never be as useless as a pilots savings account. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted Saturday at 11:41 PM Share Posted Saturday at 11:41 PM An Ashtray on a Drag bike. Some pilots make good money. Nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadpete Posted Sunday at 12:09 AM Share Posted Sunday at 12:09 AM 26 minutes ago, facthunter said: An Ashtray on a Drag bike. Some pilots make good money. Nev A rare admission, Nev. Thanks. Can you stump up a fifty until payday? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted Sunday at 12:19 AM Share Posted Sunday at 12:19 AM I never did make the big money. but the tax rate was 67% with very few deductions. My Plumber son reckoned I had a crook job. A couple of blokes building my first house reckoned I'd have to be rich till I showed them my wages slips. They offered me a job doing framing on my days off saying THEY couldn't live on what I was getting.. . Nev 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted Sunday at 12:57 AM Author Share Posted Sunday at 12:57 AM 1 hour ago, facthunter said: Some pilots make good money. I think the comment was referring to recreational pilots. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacesailor Posted Sunday at 02:38 AM Share Posted Sunday at 02:38 AM My nephew is a ' jet jockey ' for a large ' eastern ' airline. spacesailor. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted Sunday at 07:03 AM Share Posted Sunday at 07:03 AM You didn't specify, Red. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacesailor Posted Sunday at 09:52 AM Share Posted Sunday at 09:52 AM Just had to look ' Emirates Airlines ' up . That my nephews airlines name . I just couldn't tie the company to a country. United Arab Amirates country . spacesailor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted Sunday at 10:40 PM Share Posted Sunday at 10:40 PM Been like that for yonks. Nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted 17 hours ago Share Posted 17 hours ago My sexy Chinese neighbour told me that she was after a good rodger. It was only after my pants were around my ankles that I realised she meant someone to share the rent. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted 7 hours ago Share Posted 7 hours ago She might give you a bowl of Flied Lice if you're nice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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