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Posted
Merry xmas Red! And to all.May your flights, drives, and sex all be safe. (And carrying on with Red's theme, you know what the safest is!)

I have plenty of people abusing me Marty. . .so I don't have to do it myself. . .

 

:-)

 

 

Posted

It's called self pleasuring, Phil thy wordsmith. Like when you treat yourself to a good scotch . Though perhaps THAT is abuse. Red's our village wit and not every village has one of those.. Compliments of the season all you frustrated ICARUS, Biggles and Top Gun types. FLY safe and fly often... Nev

 

 

Posted

I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn’t get me anywhere.

 

Did I have a smug look on my face later on in life when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive through window. . . .

 

 

Posted
A pessimist. . . . . is an experienced optimist.

or it could just be that the optimist has learned how to construct a happy fulfilling life. spacer.png

 

 

Posted

At least if you accept the worst MAY happen, you can cope better with it. Whatever happens Life must go on. If your decisions are based on "having" good luck you are bound to experience plenty of disappointments. Nev

 

 

Posted

I once knew a Zurich woman who could open a beer bottle in her cleavage, . . .take a stone from a horses hoof with her finger,. . . and take a screw out with her thumb.

 

She was a Swiss Army Wife.

 

 

Posted

I was walking in a shopping mall today when a Chinese bloke stopped me outside his shop and asked me if I wanted to look at his "crows shop"

 

. "Crows shop", I replied, "Surely you mean clothes shop?".

 

"no, no" he insisted, "It's a crows shop. Come in and take a rook"

 

 

Posted
spacer.png OMG!Form One French teacher's joke.

I know. . .I know. . . My lady French Teacher had a fave joke ( ? ) She said,. . .What happened when Three French Cats went skating on the river Seine when the ice was Thin ?

 

Je ne se pas Madame ?

 

"Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinque . . " .she thought it was Tres Funny. . .

 

 

Posted

When Julius Caesar sat down to afternoon tea with king Mandubracius of the Trinovantes , to discuss the handing over of Roman-occupied territory to the Trinovante, what did Julius have?

 

[ATTACH]49756._xfImport[/ATTACH]

 

 

Caesar adsum iam forte.

 

1546736536280.png.05b037601fe21ee88757893e3cec91f3.png

Posted

My Daughter had a trip in one of the new Electric cabs in Birmingham yesterday.. . .She was very impressed at how smooth and quiet it was She said to the driver that she'd not traveled in an electric taxi before. He replied . . . .

 

"Not Electric Lady. . .It powered with big battery. . . ."

 

Doh...

 

 

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