Quickies part 2

[red750]

I took lessons, unsuccessfully. Don't go within a couple of km of water (other than in the shower or the sink).

[nomadpete]

My swimming performance depends on how far I am from the shore when the boat sinks.

 

Not great at it unless there is a lot of incentive.

[rgmwa]

Lots of professional fishermen can’t swim. 

[Marty_d]

7 minutes ago, rgmwa said:

Lots of professional fishermen can’t swim. 

Which is something I've never understood.

Yes I get that if you're in the North Sea the cold will probably get you in a few minutes anyway, and if you have heavy woolen clothes on you'll tend to sink.

But if you fall off a boat, being able to swim at least 50m may be the difference between life and death.

[rgmwa]

My brother in law is a retired cray fisherman. He used to fish out of King Island and around Tas. His deckie went overboard once. Couldn’t swim and was going down but the brother in law just managed to grab him and haul him back on board. Lucky guy. 

[red750]

A man was up before the court for car stealing.

 

The judge read the charges and asked, "How do you plead?"

 

The man whispered to his lawyer, who said, "Are you sure?"

 

The man nodded.

 

The lawyer said, "Your honour, my client pleads guilty."

 

The judge says, "A very wise decision. It takes a strong person to admit their guilt. You will be treated less harshly. Why did you steal the vehicle?"

 

The man replied, "My car was out of action and I had to get to work."

 

The judge said, "Why didn't you take the bus?

 

The man replied, "Your honour, I don't have a licence to drive a bus."

[facthunter]

Please Call me a taxi. 

 OK .You're a taxi.