pmccarthy Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 I keep calling our local Elphinstone pub the Elphi but people correct me and say it is the Elpho. I can’t figure that out.
Phil Perry Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 Breaking News . . . . A nine year old girl has disappeared after using a moisturiser which makes you look ten years younger.
PA. Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 Breaking News . . . . A nine year old girl has disappeared after using a moisturiser which makes you look ten years younger. Found her, turns out she was hiding in another womb.
Phil Perry Posted February 15, 2019 Posted February 15, 2019 For my holidays last year, I threw a dart at a map of the world and decided to go to wherever it landed. I had a fantastic two weeks sat next to the skirting board in the lounge room. . . ..
facthunter Posted February 15, 2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Did you see MIckey and Minnie anywhere?. Nev
red750 Posted February 16, 2019 Author Posted February 16, 2019 You're lucky - I can't reach the wall.
nomadpete Posted February 16, 2019 Posted February 16, 2019 You're lucky. When I did it, the dart ended up out the window. In the wheelie bin.
facthunter Posted February 17, 2019 Posted February 17, 2019 A Goggomobile Dart won't quite fit in a wheelie Bin. I'm sure it's been tried. Nev
Phil Perry Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 As a great man once said. . . . "I'm not going through another divorce . . . I'm just going to find a woman I hate and buy her a house"
Phil Perry Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 Heinz share value falls 27% ! ( according to reliable industry sauce )
pmccarthy Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 There is a suspicious smell about that report.
old man emu Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 Heinz share value falls 27% ! ( according to reliable industry sauce ) You know what that meanz.
old man emu Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 My mother-in-law keeps hitting things with her car when she's parking it. She's a noisy parker.
Phil Perry Posted February 24, 2019 Posted February 24, 2019 An Indian builder has fallen through the roof at a Lionel Richie concert ! A spokesman said "The last thing I saw was Dan Singh on the ceiling"
facthunter Posted February 24, 2019 Posted February 24, 2019 Baked beans are a good sandwich filler and that's just for a Phart. Nev
Phil Perry Posted February 27, 2019 Posted February 27, 2019 Currently inventing a "smart drawer" that gets your clothes out for you. Will keep you posted as things unfold. . . .
red750 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 If I ask if I can wash your back in the shower, all you have to say is "Yes" or "No", none of this "Who are you and how did you get in here?" business.
red750 Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 I've learnt two very important things in my lifetime. I can't remember the first, but the second is that I must start writing things down.
Phil Perry Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 I've decided to sell all my chiropractic magazines,. . .. If you want some. . . I have loads of back issues.
Phil Perry Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 Went to the Zoo today with my kids saw a baguette in a cage Zoo Keeper told me 'It was bread in captivity'
Marty_d Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 I know it just encourages you, but I did actually chuckle at that one.
Phil Perry Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 ( Encouraged as I am. . .) . My mate told me that a fish jumped out of the sea and slapped him in the face. To be honest, that sounds like codswallop. .
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