Quickies part 2

[Phil Perry]

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BIN THERE. . . DUN TH....

 

 

[spacesailor]

Haven't we all.

 

Just some keep doing the same cut.

 

spacesailor

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Good news. Article in Private Eye claims that research in California has shown that feeding cattle small amounts of seaweed stops 99% of the methane in their farts.

 

Does this mean that we can binge on steak again without any feelings of guilt about wrecking the planet ?

 

>

 

( Next door Neighbour's wife asks if the same additive works on Husbands too. . . )

 

 

[Marty_d]

Give it a test Phil - get some sushi rolls into you and see if it reduces your nocturnal rumblings...

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Took my wife to the doctors today to sort out her tourettes syndrome. ..

 

after many tests, it turns out she doesn't have it and I really AM a Twot, and she really DOES want me to Eff off. . ..

 

(Sad face)

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Give it a test Phil - get some sushi rolls into you and see if it reduces your nocturnal rumblings...

Err,. . No thanks mate. . .I've never liked raw fish, Nor Rare Steak either . . .f you're going to cook something, then bloody well cook it !

 

Phil. (istine)

 

 

[spacesailor]

My wife likes her steak well done, to me it's very dry.

 

Phil, don't you have the "Jellied EELS, roll mops" , etc,. at the pub any more ?.

 

spacesailor

 

 

[Phil Perry]

My wife likes her steak well done, to me it's very dry.Phil, don't you have the "Jellied EELS, roll mops" , etc,. at the pub any more ?.

 

spacesailor

There's Rare, Medium Rare, Done, and Well Done. . . .I like it 'DONE' . .With black Pepper sauce and Garlic Button Mushrooms . . .

 

I was invited to an old style pub a while ago, they had big jars of Pickled Onions & Pickled Eggs free on the bar. . .along with bowls of Crisps and salted peanuts to compliment their seven draught Real Ales . . . .PROPER PUB !

 

 

[spacesailor]

BUT

 

No Jellied eels,

 

I can't remember what the other jars of concoctions were.

 

Use to drive to the pub, as NO drink-driving law then.

 

spacesailor

 

 

[Phil Perry]

BUTNo Jellied eels,

 

I can't remember what the other jars of concoctions were.

 

Use to drive to the pub, as NO drink-driving law then.

 

spacesailor

I used to like small fishing villages, and there is one called BRIXHAM in South Devon, where they had Whelks, Cockles and Mussels free on the bar. . . these came fresh from the local fish market on the harbour. Regrettably, the Devonians have not mastered the process of making drinkable beer. ( ! ) This is ironic, as a very good friend of mine is the chairman of the board at Hook Norton Brewery in the Cotswolds ( Oxfordshire ) but actually Lives in South Devon too ! His company brew award winning ales and beers, but you have to go to his house in Devon to try any ! Oddly enough, very few supermarkets sell it. . . ( as he refuses to sell it to them at a loss )

 

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Brixham Harbour, . the old fish market can be seen at the centre right of the picture on the harbour Quay. Closed long ago as we now have to buy British caught Fish from French and Spanish trawlers who have all the EU fishing quotas around our coast. . .

 

[red750]

This one will go over like a cast iron hang glider.

 

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[nomadpete]

Just about all politicians and used car salesmen qualify for that award

 

 

[Marty_d]

This one will go over like a cast iron hang glider.

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You're behind the times, you'll have a new Labor leader to pick on soon.

 

 

[red750]

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

 

The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.

 

Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

 

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

 

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

BUTNo Jellied eels,

 

I can't remember what the other jars of concoctions were.

 

Use to drive to the pub, as NO drink-driving law then.

 

spacesailor

I only saw Jellied Eels on the bar n central London Pubs, near to Billingsgte Fish market. . Oh, and Cockles + Mussels too of course. . . .

 

 

[Phil Perry]

When I came home from work, my wife left a letter on the fridge.

 

The note said,"It's not working. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to my mum's place."

 

I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold …

 

what the hell was she on about?

 

 

[Phil Perry]

"Glasgow man threatens to ‘burn Chinese takeaway to the ground’ after being served gravy with his chicken fried rice"

 

https://www.thescottishsun....

 

 

[red750]

A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.

 

He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

 

The girl replied, in a loud voice. "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

 

All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was deeply embarrassed and moved to another table.

 

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know

 

what a man is thinking; I bet you felt embarrassed, right?"

 

The man responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? I`M NOT PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!"

 

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

 

The man whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to screw people."

 

 

[red750]

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[Phil Perry]

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[Phil Perry]

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[Old Koreelah]

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Phil do you mean like this one:[ATTACH]50113._xfImport[/ATTACH]

 

[old man emu]

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[red750]

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[old man emu]

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