Quickies part 2

[red750]

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 p.m. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 p.m. news was coming on.

The news crew was covering the story of a man preparing to jump off the ledge of a large building. The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!” Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 p.m. news, so I knew he would jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did, too, but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”
Bob took the money.

[facthunter]

Blondes are people too. Highly prized in the M.E.. Nev

[Jerry_Atrick]

Usually for the very reasons jokes are made about them 🙂

 

[Marty_d]

I had a blonde girlfriend once.  She was far more intelligent than me.  Does that make Marty jokes the next level down?

[Jerry_Atrick]

My (natural) blonde ghirelfriend was quite the opposite.. but I thought that was quite a bomus at the time 😋

[old man emu]

Here's an interesting presentation on the origin of the :Dumb Blonde" stereotype.https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/dumb-blonde-stereotype 

 

The final paragraph is an interesting conclusion:

Dumb blonde is just another stereotype in a long line of misogynist lies that aim to silence and humiliate women. In the Venn diagram of stereotypes, blondeness is the overlap between stupidity, promiscuity, gold-digging and naked self-interest. 

 

Historians roundly agree that the notion of blondes being dumb dates back to a play performed some 250 years ago, titled Les Curiosités de la Foire, (The Curiosities of the Fair)  based on the misdemeanours of the legendary courtesan Rosalie Duthé, which established blondes as both stupid and sexually available. Duthé took long pauses before she spoke, leading people to believe she was literally dumb, as well as stupid. 

 

However, I believe that the strengthening of the stereotype is a product of the American male culture which makes over-sized female secondary sexual characteristics.

 

[nomadpete]

I go for a simple explanation.

Humans use discrimination to instantly remove large amounts of social competion. It is an instinctive part of promoting one's own genetic traits.

Any group will do. Eg:

 

Any other nationality

Too tall

Too short

Too wealthy

Too poor

Too sunburnt

Too pale

Too redheaded

Too fair

Edited May 28, 2022 by nomadpete
I forgot to add 'Too Irish'

[Marty_d]

12 hours ago, nomadpete said:

 

Too redheaded

 

That reminds me of a Tim Minchin song.

 

He introduces it with a serious face, talking seriously about discriminating people who look different.  Then he says there's one word which is really terrible... It has an N, an I, a couple of G's, an E and an R...

 

Then he breaks into song.... "Only a Ginger... can call another Ginger 'Ginger'..."

[facthunter]

Another fairly rare colour. (to be prized).  Keep them out of the sun. Not much skin pigmentation.  Nev

[spacesailor]

,Oops

What do I call those that are born & live on the Nigger river, Africa , (  spelling ).

What are those born in Napal called !   NAPOLI .

spacesailor

[facthunter]

NIGER river and Nigeria and Nigerians, Napoli is the Italian word for Naples. According to T A Bot, Canadians live in Canadia and IF you don't understand IT don't vote for it.. Science is just another belief also   Nev

[octave]

1 hour ago, spacesailor said:

What do I call those that are born & live on the Nigger river, Africa

So exactly where is this river?  Are you referring to the Niger river? The Niger river runs through several countries so someone born adjacent to the Niger river could be a Sierria Leonean or a Malian or a Nigerian.

[spacesailor]

It Was an African in England that told me he was a " N " as he born there.

And my new neighbors are from Napal, Asia

spacesailor

[onetrack]

I find it interesting that a person of Negro bloodlines and appearance, can call another Negro or Negro descendant person, a "nigger" - and that's acceptable to them both - but if a white person calls either of them a "nigger", that's just awful racism.

[Marty_d]

I don't think it'd be acceptable to all black people even if it came from another black person - I imagine it wouldn't go down too well with a respectable middle-aged couple if the waitress serving their meal called them that.

Between a couple of young blokes, sure - just like one Aussie tradie might call out "Oi, Stevo, ya c*nt!" but probably wouldn't use the same language with his Gran.

[octave]

18 minutes ago, onetrack said:

I find it interesting that a person of Negro bloodlines and appearance, can call another Negro or Negro descendant person, a "nigger" - and that's acceptable to them both - but if a white person calls either of them a "nigger", that's just awful racism.

 

I guess there are lots of situations where the acceptable language is is nuanced.   A couple of blokes in a bar may refer to each other "you old b******"    I often greet my brother in law by saying "how you going you old c***"     I do this knowing he does not mind.   I cant really walk down the street greeting everyone that way.    The fact is I have no wish to offend anyone  if I can help it. I am more than happy to refer to people in the way they wish to be referred to.   I have an old friend called Elizabeth.  Everybody calls her Elizabeth except her husband who calls her Liz.  I would not dream saying "but your husband calls you Liz so why cant I"

 

I cant really understand why any educated person would have cause to use the word other than as a quote.    Are people who use it referring to all black people or black people from a certain region?   

 

I can understand that dark skinned people generally don't like be called that, so for me at least I am happy not to use that word.   If some dark skinned people choose to call each other that then that is up to them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[red750]

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.”

The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, “Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?”

“Pastor, I’m afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man admitted.

“What happened?” inquired the pastor.

“My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the pastor.

“That’s okay,” said the young man. “We’re not welcome at the grocery store anymore either.”

[red750]

A 21 year old blonde girl met a large, powerfully built bodybuilder at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place.

The body builder takes off his shirt, and while doing so, he exclaims, “Boom!”

The blonde says, “What a great chest you have!”

He tells her, “That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby!”

He then rips off his pants, once again yelling, “Boom!”

The blonde is impressed and says, “My, what massive calves you have!”

The body builder tells her, “That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.”

He then rips off his underwear, and exclaims “Boom!”

The blonde goes running out of the apartment, screaming in fear.

The bodybuilder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, “I didn’t want to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!”

[red750]

During a trial in Mississippi, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot, when you haven’t got the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state… Not to mention, he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney nearly died on the spot.

Suddenly, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said… “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”

[red750]

The  Picnic

A JewishRabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi.  "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion,

but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing.

You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia  Baked Ham.

Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at  the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

[red750]

Why  Go to Church?

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied,

"I'm not going."  "Why not?" she asked.  I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, and (2), I don't like them."

His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you  SHOULD  go to church:

(1) You're 59 years  old, and (2) you're the pastor!"

[red750]

Goat for Dinner

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner.

While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.

"Goat," the little boy replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.' "

[red750]

BREAKING NEWS!!

A man used a piece of timber he put in the garage in 1982, because "it might come in handy".

[old man emu]

26 minutes ago, red750 said:

BREAKING NEWS!!

A man used a piece of timber he put in the garage in 1982, because "it might come in handy".

Now what's he going to use next time?

workshop questions.docx

[red750]

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?   Bernadette.

 

I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places.  He told me to stop going to those places.

 

 

I put our scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

 

 

FEW women admit their age - VERY few men act theirs.

 

 

When I was a kid, I used to watch the Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn't have a brain.  Then I got Facebook.

 

 

As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of  - it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.