Quickies part 2

[nomadpete]

A empty desk is a sign of an empty mind

[facthunter]

A tidy workshop is just for show and nothing much really  being done.  You have to have it IF it has shift changes or a lot of people working there at once but IF it yours alone, leave stuff where you are still working with it.  Nev

[old man emu]

2 hours ago, facthunter said:

F it yours alone, leave stuff where you are still working with it. 

I do, but the gremlins shift stuff as soon as I turn my back.

[Old Koreelah]

9 hours ago, facthunter said:

A tidy workshop is just for show and nothing much really  being done.  You have to have it IF it has shift changes or a lot of people working there at once but IF it yours alone, leave stuff where you are still working with it.  Nev

Research into this issue found tidy people averaged twenty minutes to locate something in their workshop/office. 
Untidy people could do it in less than half the time.

[facthunter]

IF you are working on multiple jobs at once as you do when parts are delayed, it's absolutely essential  to keep all relevant bits together.. Misplacing one bit can hold the job up for months or even more. Don't ever let someone clean up the workshop unless you examine every bit of junk that may be thrown out before it's binned. Nev

[red750]

Untidy is only in the eye of the beholder. If things supposedly "scattered around" are placed for quick action when required, they are not untidy to the person using them, only some nosey parker poking around.

[Old Koreelah]

I guess the biggest issue with tidiness is who uses the facility?

 

Nobody else uses my workshop, so it looks like a bomb site to others, but I have a system and can (usually) find what I need pretty easily.

 

Shared facilities are a totally different animal, requiring teamwork and cooperation.

[spacesailor]

Whenever I tidy up my workshop !.

It takes days to find , just were I put that item I need right Now .

spacesailor

 

[red750]

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor of you?"

 

"Of course child. What can I do for you?"

 

"I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened, but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Could you possibly hide it under your robes for me?"

 

"I would love to help you my dear; but, I must warn you, I will not lie!"

 

"With your honest face, Father, I'm sure no one will question you!"

 

When they got to customs, she let the priest go first.

 

The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

 

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

 

The official thought this answer a little strange, so he asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist down to the floor?"

 

"I have a marvellous instrument that has been designed for use on women, but which, to date, remains unused."

 

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next, please!"😂

[red750]

An old trucker sat down in a diner and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the wrinkled old gear jammer and asked, ‘Are you a real trucker?’
He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life driving big rigs. I have delivered grain to breweries, I have carted machinery across the country, I have given rides at county fairs to lots of kids, and clocked up over 4 million miles, that's like to the moon and back 10 times  so I guess I am a trucker – what about you?’
She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.’
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young boy sat down on the other side of the old truck driver and asked, ‘Are you a real trucker?’
He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian!

[red750]

 Wise Words!!

A topical item worth forwarding on 

 
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes
from the poor and campaign funds from the rich,
by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Am ringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism."

 

I offered my opponents a deal:
"if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman
 
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city,
it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, 1902-1981)

 

We hang petty thieves and appoint the bigger thieves to public office.
~Aesop, Greek slave & fable author

 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
~Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

 

Politicians are the same all over.
They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton, American actor/writer

 

What happens if a politician drowns in a river?
That is pollution.
What happens if all of them drown?
That is a solution ....!!!

[facthunter]

It's a bit unfair to  those who do put a lot into it. They do exist. Rotten apples will damage the whole barrel.. A lot will steal if they think they can get away with it and that applies to the whole world..  Nev

[onetrack]

I think the greatest single problem is there's no requirement to fill out a job application stating your skills and employment record, and be interrogated by those who wish to employ you, before you become a politician. 

[Old Koreelah]

19 minutes ago, onetrack said:

I think the greatest single problem is there's no requirement to fill out a job application stating your skills and employment record, and be interrogated by those who wish to employ you, before you become a politician. 

Like this interview?

[facthunter]

The preselection process is where the system fails. Vested Interest push THEIR candidate and you get developers and secret religion types. Etc. with  hidden agenda's. Nev

[red750]

A wealthy white man walked into a bar in Miami. As soon as he entered, he noticed an African woman (black), sitting in one corner.

 He walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted, "Bartender! I am buying drinks for everyone in this bar, except that black woman over there!"

 The bartender collected the money and began serving free drinks to everyone in the bar, except the African woman. Instead of becoming upset, the black woman simply looked up at the guy and shouted, "Thank you!"

 This infuriated the wealthy guy. So once again, he took out his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! This time I am buying bottles of wine and additional food for everyone in this bar, except for that African sitting in the corner over there!"

 

The bartender collected the money from the man and began serving free food and wine to everyone in the bar except the African. When the waiter finished serving the food and drinks, the African woman simply smiled at the man and said, Thank you!"

 

That made him furious. So he leaned over the counter and asked the bartender, "What is wrong with that black woman? I have bought food and drinks for everyone in this bar except for her, and instead of becoming angry, she just sits there, smiles at me and shouts 'Thank you.' Is she mad?"

 

The bartender smiled at the wealthy man and said, "No, she is not mad.  She is the OWNER of this establishment." 

[red750]

Cooking tip:  If I have to stir it, it's home made.

[Old Koreelah]

[red750]

Why are there so many 23 year olds?

 

Because in 1999 people thought the world was going to end - Y2K.

[Old Koreelah]

[Jerry_Atrick]

On 06/06/2023 at 12:01 PM, red750 said:

Because in 1999 people thought the world was going to end - Y2K.

Ughh! Don't remind me...

 

This little programming language cloause (or more accurately, data type) that defined a date in COBOL (biggest programming language at the time): PIC 9(6), whhich meant 6 digits, defined a date. When IU was at Coles Myer in the late 80s, we changed them all to PIC 9(8), which was a number that was 8 digits long.. so you could store a date as 19991231 instead of 991231.

 

All the work in the UK as a contractor to fix this was around the time I left Aus - 1996. Contracts were paying north of £1,000 a day at the time the tax breaks were phenominal. The one problem for me was I was over 28 and one needed a work permit over 28 to enter the country for work - unless I had that magical piece of paper from a university . F! I researched like crazy,  including calliong migration agents, but there seemed no way around it. I got a sponsered job paying reasonably well, but about a quarter of the c. £220K those contracts would have paid - which would put you at the time in the top 1% earners in the UK at the time.

 

I am not really complaining. Yeah, I would have earned a lot of cash, but my maturity at the time would have meant I would have ended up with a trophy wife and then lost it all after the divorce.  Instead, I had a great job transitioning from knowing virtually nothing about engineering to consutling with nuclear plant engineers about managing the design engineering and maintenance of their plants. And the peopel I worked with were - to be honest - much nicer and much smarter than most I have worked with in finance - which is where those really big bucks were. And of course, I would not have met my partner.. who can't divorce me.. because we're not married! 😉

 

But I did learn about 6 months before the end of the century  and millenia - if I coudl get an ex employer to vouch for by professional COBOL experience, they would have accepted me. But, I still don't regret - money isn#t everything (except a means to eat, and fly).

[red750]

Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Mariam, age 89), living in 'The Villages' in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore and they decide go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
“Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories and medicine for impotence?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult diapers?"
Pharmacist: "Sure, how can I help you?"
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
 

[red750]

Personalised rego I was following the other day:

 

M8W8UP

[Old Koreelah]

Can anyone suggest a polite, but effective sign to keep tailgaters well away from my car? 

[old man emu]

3 hours ago, red750 said:

Personalised rego I was following the other day:

 

M8W8UP

Was that on a Rolls-Canardly?