old man emu Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 A little Catholic boy comes home from school and asks his Mum, "What's the missionary position?" His Mum was taken aback and wondered how she would get out of the sex education dilemma. "Where did you hear of that?" "Oh, I had to take a message to Father to give to the Bishop who was visiting. The Bishop was talking to Sister Mary and I heard him say, "We'll have to discuss the missionary position after dinner tonight" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted September 6, 2023 Author Share Posted September 6, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 (edited) 57 minutes ago, red750 said: 999... Actually, 1505 Edited September 6, 2023 by Marty_d saw a bigger number 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry_Atrick Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 5031 by moving the 2 left matches of the 8 to the right of the now transformed 3 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacesailor Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 803 spacesailor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry_Atrick Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 Actually we assume one can't change the matches relative position, but by moving the top and bottom matches of the zero to the right hand side, rotating them 90 degrees and placing one on top of the other you get 51181 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 You're NOT Arthur Daley in your day job are you, Jerry? 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry_Atrick Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 Second rate creative accountant 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadpete Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 Jerry works a lot with ones an zeros 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Koreelah Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 Sorry, I thought I'd used it all up writing posts here.. Nev 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post nomadpete Posted September 8, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 8, 2023 Albert Einstein was a real genius. But his brother Frank was a monster 1 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 3 hours ago, nomadpete said: Albert Einstein was a real genius. But his brother Frank was a monster That's right! Motion pictures' Dr Frankenstein did create a terrifying monster, but in the original novel by Mary Shelley the creature is sentient and a rather sad individual. Speaking to Frankenstein, the monster says "I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel". That angel would be Lucifer (meaning "light-bringer") in Milton's Paradise Lost, which the creature has read. So Frank Einstein is the real monster of the piece. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rgmwa Posted September 9, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 9, 2023 7 hours ago, nomadpete said: Albert Einstein was a real genius. But his brother Frank was a monster I didn't know Einstein had a brother so out of curiosity I looked him up in Wikipedia. Until then I never realised I was an idiot. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 2 hours ago, rgmwa said: Until then I never realised I was an idiot. But now you are not. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted September 12, 2023 Share Posted September 12, 2023 Not funny, but ... For a number of reasons, my daughter will have to have her twins delivered by caesarian section about two weeks short of the normal gestation period. The date for the procedure/birthing has been set for the twenty-third of November. Written in abbreviated numerical form, their birth date will be 23/11/23. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClintonB Posted September 12, 2023 Share Posted September 12, 2023 Just realised of all the books I have read, I have never picked up Frankenstein, if I can find a copy I might just have a read of it. When I was 11, I got a copy of a tale of two city's for my birthday, back then I found it heavy going. I have been thinking of digging it up out of my library and having a crack at it again now I might understand it better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadpete Posted September 12, 2023 Share Posted September 12, 2023 (edited) When it comes to classic books, we have been much mislead by Disney, etc. I think you should be able to get a free electronic text copy of the original book. Go onto 'The Gutenberg Project'. They have lots of old books that have expired copyright. https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/search/?query=Frankenstein&submit_search=Search Edited September 12, 2023 by nomadpete added the link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted September 12, 2023 Share Posted September 12, 2023 The only problem with reading those 19th Century novels is getting used to the formality of the style of writing. We are used to a different style. You have to be careful of the changes in meaning of some words, and the extinction of some words and occupations. Regarding word extinction, Shakespeare is said to have introduced many words to the English language, be he also introduced a lot of words that never made it past the scripts of his plays. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Koreelah Posted September 12, 2023 Share Posted September 12, 2023 1 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 1 hour ago, Old Koreelah said: Would have been even funnier if the caption was "Eye'll never see a cornea joke than this" 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 I'll have to keep an eye out for more like this. Nev. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 I've always thought van Gogh's Irises is an eye-opener. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 Did those pupils really see eye-to-eye with Miss Iris? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadpete Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 Enough with the granddads jokes already! This thread is for FUNNY jokes .... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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