Quickies part 2

[old man emu]

A little Catholic boy comes home from school and asks his Mum, "What's the missionary position?"

His Mum was taken aback and wondered how she would get out of the sex education dilemma.

"Where did you hear of that?"

"Oh, I had to take a message to Father to give to the Bishop who was visiting. The Bishop was talking to Sister Mary and I heard him say, "We'll have to discuss the missionary position after dinner tonight"

[red750]

[Marty_d]

57 minutes ago, red750 said:

999...

Actually,  1505

 

 

Edited September 6, 2023 by Marty_d
saw a bigger number

[Jerry_Atrick]

5031 by moving the 2 left matches of the 8 to the right of the now transformed 3

[spacesailor]

803 

spacesailor

[Jerry_Atrick]

Actually we assume one can't change the matches relative position, but by moving the top and bottom matches of the zero to the right hand side, rotating them 90 degrees and placing one on top of the other you get 51181

[facthunter]

You're NOT Arthur Daley in your day job are you, Jerry?

[Jerry_Atrick]

Second rate creative accountant

[nomadpete]

Jerry works a lot with ones an zeros

[Old Koreelah]

[facthunter]

Sorry, I thought I'd used it all up writing posts here..  Nev

[nomadpete]

Albert Einstein was a real genius.

 

But his brother Frank was a monster

[old man emu]

3 hours ago, nomadpete said:

Albert Einstein was a real genius. But his brother Frank was a monster

That's right! Motion pictures' Dr Frankenstein did create a terrifying monster, but in the original novel by Mary Shelley the creature is sentient and a rather sad individual. Speaking to Frankenstein, the monster says "I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel". That angel would be Lucifer (meaning "light-bringer") in Milton's Paradise Lost, which the creature has read.

 

So Frank Einstein is the real monster of the piece.

[rgmwa]

7 hours ago, nomadpete said:

Albert Einstein was a real genius.

 

But his brother Frank was a monster

I didn't know Einstein had a brother so out of curiosity I looked him up in Wikipedia. Until then I never realised I was an idiot.

 

[old man emu]

2 hours ago, rgmwa said:

Until then I never realised I was an idiot.

But now you are not.

[old man emu]

Not funny, but ...

 

For a number of reasons, my daughter will have to have her twins delivered by caesarian section about two weeks short of the normal gestation period. The date for the procedure/birthing has been set for the twenty-third of November.

 

Written in abbreviated numerical form, their birth date will be 23/11/23.

[ClintonB]

Just realised of all the books I have read, I have never picked up  Frankenstein, if I can find a copy I might just have a read of it. When I was 11, I got a copy of a tale of two city's for my birthday, back then I found it heavy going. I have been thinking of digging it up out of my library and having a crack at it again now I might understand it better.

 

[nomadpete]

When it comes to classic books, we have been much mislead by Disney, etc.

 

I think you should be able to get a free electronic text copy of the original book. Go onto 'The Gutenberg Project'. They have lots of old books that have expired copyright.

 

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/search/?query=Frankenstein&submit_search=Search

Edited September 12, 2023 by nomadpete
added the link

[old man emu]

The only problem with reading those 19th Century novels is getting used to the formality of the style of writing. We are used to a different style. You have to be careful of the changes in meaning of some words, and the extinction of some words and occupations. 

 

Regarding word extinction, Shakespeare is said to have introduced many words to the English language, be he also introduced a lot of words that never made it past the scripts of his plays.

[Old Koreelah]

[Marty_d]

1 hour ago, Old Koreelah said:

Would have been even funnier if the caption was

"Eye'll never see a cornea joke than this"

[facthunter]

I'll have to keep   an eye out for more like this.  Nev.

[old man emu]

I've always thought van Gogh's Irises is an eye-opener.

[onetrack]

Did those pupils really see eye-to-eye with Miss Iris? 

[nomadpete]

Enough with the granddads jokes already!

 

This thread is for FUNNY jokes ....