Quickies part 2

[nomadpete]

42 minutes ago, red750 said:

???

Can Grammar Police enforce unambiguity?

[old man emu]

If you say that there is ambiguity in something, you mean that it is unclear or confusing, or it can be understood in more than one way.

 

Surely, in the context of a thread devoted to witticisms,  the idea that something said or written can require one to choose between two alternatives is the very essence of the reason for this thread. While it can be said that brevity is the soul of wit, ambiguity can be wit's heartbeat.

[onetrack]

I used to own an ambiguity, but I could never be certain what it was actually used for.

[old man emu]

13 minutes ago, onetrack said:

I used to own an ambiguity

Was it one of those foreign Heisenberg ones?

[pmccarthy]

If you are not Albert Einstein, are you disingenuous?

[old man emu]

How many young physicists have been sent out to the pet store to buy food for Schrodinger's cat? 

[facthunter]

Any multi purpose thing would be an ambiguity. For more clarity have your ambiguities less BIG or eliminated.  Nev

[Marty_d]

Have you ever met anyone who was gruntled?

 

[red750]

No, but I  knew a guy who was going to mantle a bookcase.

[pmccarthy]

My wife made a really gusting meal tonight.

[red750]

Dis is getting ridiculous.

[old man emu]

Watch this and be whelmed.  

 

[onetrack]

I don't know anyone who was ever gruntled, but have you ever seen a horseful carriage and a strapful gown?

[facthunter]

Stay a member if you don't want to be dismembered, though I guess you can get remembered if enough people knew of you and weren't too disorganised.  IF you were a distinguished person it's easier. Nev

[Marty_d]

8 minutes ago, facthunter said:

Stay a member if you don't want to be dismembered, though I guess you can get remembered if enough people knew of you and weren't too disorganised.  IF you were a distinguished person it's easier. Nev

But most of us are just tinguished.

 

As for the strapful gown @onetrack - maybe, in certain boutique videos!

Edited November 26, 2023 by Marty_d

[onetrack]

Has anyone ever actually come across a sung hero? Perhaps only in North Korea?

[facthunter]

Don't be extinguished. It must be hard to learn Eengleesh. Try a gownless evening strap to be different.   Nev

[red750]

Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory.
They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house.
Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colours.
One day, they heard, “Yellow, blue, black.”
One of the nuns noticed that those colours perfectly matched the colours of their underwear.
She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible.
The next day, they all wore black innerwear and passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke,
“Black, black, black.”
Hearing that the three nuns were astonished.
One of the nuns spoke up,
“Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird.”
After saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should be wearing any underwear under their vestments.
Respecting their agreement, the next day they wore no innerwaear, and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot’s house.
They peeked at the bird.
In the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled.
He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.
Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke,
“Straight, Straight, Curly!”

[red750]

Husband: "Babe, why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"

 

Wife: "I don't want to bother you when you are at work."

[facthunter]

Not very likely.  Nev

[red750]

Another Billy Brownless risque joke.

 

A guy takes his girlfriend a large bunch of flowers.

 

When she opens the door and sees the flowers, she pulls him inside, throws herself on the couch, lifts her skirt and pulls down her panties. She says, "This is for the flowers."

 

He says, "Surely you must have a vase in the house somewhere."

[facthunter]

Any female thinking of coming here has just bolted for the door.  Nev

[red750]

What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to bed?

 

He puts his pyjamazon.

[red750]

Have you ever tried blindfolded archery?

 

You don't know what you're missing.

[facthunter]

It's not something  I'd aim to do. I hope you see my point.  Nev