Quickies part 2

[red750]

I've had a steroid injection in my shoulder three times, about six months apart, where I tore a couple of tendons completely off the bone. Before the injections, I wasn't able to lift my arm high enough to take a plate off the shelf. The injury is called rotator cuff syndrome, and will not heal. Injection pinpointed using an ultrasound.

[spacesailor]

" WEEKS ".

Of pain from that Injection ! .

It really made my arm more painful. 

Not a lot of sleep last night , I didn't have to bump it .

It throbbed all the night- long .

The wife told me , " moaning & groaning like a child ".

spacesailor

[old man emu]

4 hours ago, spacesailor said:

The wife told me , " moaning & groaning like a child ".

I'd expect whinging from a Pom.

[facthunter]

 They certainly did get a name for it. Most Offspring of theirs that  I met exuded superiority (un earned) when I was at school..  Nev Nev

[Litespeed]

So correct me if I am wrong...

 

POM is prisoner of moaning.

[Marty_d]

I thought there was a silent H in it... Prisoner Of Her/His Majesty 

[willedoo]

According to the ANU School of Literature, Languages and Linguistics, the word pom comes from pomegranate used as a slang term for an English immigrant. They say it evolved from immigrant to jimmygrant to pomegranate/pommygrant.

 

https://slll.cass.anu.edu.au/centres/andc/meanings-origins/p

[nomadpete]

16 hours ago, Litespeed said:

So correct me if I am wrong...

 

POM is prisoner of moaning.

In any casw it is a generalisation created by a noisy minority (a long time ago), and cannot be used to denigrate any specific person.

[red750]

Sex is like jenga. Pull out once too many and it all comes crashing down.

 

[Jerry_Atrick]

Going in once too many would seem to be the root cause of the problem

[facthunter]

Are you talking about that Ritual "Docking " operation?    Nev

[pmccarthy]

This discussion is impenetrable.

[red750]

With great power comes  -  -   a large electricity bill.

[Jerry_Atrick]

16 hours ago, facthunter said:

Are you talking about that Ritual "Docking " operation?    Nev

I nevre watched Star Wars.. nor *uck Rogers..

Edited March 9 by Jerry_Atrick

[facthunter]

I got it from a Female comedian on a TV show Long ago.   Nev

[red750]

A scammer called an elderly grandma and said, "I've got all your passwords."

 

She grabbed a pen and paper and said, "Thank God for that. What are they?"

[red750]

Copied from Facebook :-

 

My lesbian neighbours Jane and Caroline asked me to help them conceive a child recently.

 

They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way, as they were desperate to have a baby.

 

For six months now we've been trying, but I don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy six months ago.

[red750]

Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar.
 
Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"
 
Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"
 
Woods replies, "Not too bad.  I've had some problems with my swing but I
think I've got that right now."
 
Stevie: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it.  Then the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
 
Surprised, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?!!"
 
Stevie: "Yes, I've been playing for years."
 
Tiger: "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"
 
Stevie: "Well, I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me.  I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him.  Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddie moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."
 
"But, how do you putt?" asks Tiger.
 
"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."
 
Tiger: "What's your handicap?"
 
Stevie: "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."
 
Woods: incredulous - says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
 
Stevie: "Well, people don't take me seriously so I only play for money.  And I never play for less than $10,000 a hole.  Is that a problem?"
 
Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that.  OK - I'm game for that.  $10,000 a hole is fine with me.  When would you like to play?"
 
Stevie: "You pick a night."

[red750]

"Siri, why don't I have any luck with women?"

 

"I'm Alexa, you moron."

 

 

[facthunter]

If you don't have any luck with women, you usually don't get it.  Nev

[red750]

Haven't got it for years, never get it again. Thank you bladder cancer (or at least the surgery).

[facthunter]

If you are lucky, you'll dream about it sometimes. Just don't dream you are peeing.. PS I haven't YET but gone close.  Nev

[red750]

I picked up a hitch hiker. He said, "Aren't you afraid I might be a serial killer?"

 

I said, "Two serial killers in the one car is a bit of a long shot."

[red750]

[red750]

Bath Night In Scotland
 
A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath,
but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to,
she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman
filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed.. She was surprised to see that the lass
didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He
didn't believe her, so she said:
"Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden.
I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife
asked:
"Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you
have hair?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the
girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.....very
generously indeed..
The girl finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you
see it?"
"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often
enough before."
"I know," he said, "but the dart team hadn't!"