Funny videos

[old man emu]

Helsal at the breaker's yard.

 

[nomadpete]

And you think aeroplanes or supercars look better at the breakers yard?

[red750]

Millenials in the operating theatre..

 

 

[red750]

[red750]

[red750]

[old man emu]

My story in song.

 

 

[Marty_d]

16 hours ago, old man emu said:

My story in song.

 

 

I only kept watching because of his dancers.  If those shorts were any shorter, they'd have to come up with another name for them.

 

[old man emu]

1 hour ago, Marty_d said:

If those shorts were any shorter, they'd have to come up with another name for them

There is a word: "belt"

[onetrack]

After watching that video, and the number of "porkers" (male and female) in it, you can see why the standard American door width is 36" (915mm), as compared to our old standard door width of 32" (820mm). Of course, many of our door widths choices have expanded in recent decades, too, to match the American dimensions.

[nomadpete]

19 hours ago, old man emu said:

There is a word: "belt"

Now there's a pathway to a Belt and Road initiative!

[Marty_d]

1 hour ago, nomadpete said:

Now there's a pathway to a Belt and Road initiative!

You'd hope you could see paradise by the dashboard light, but it may turn out to be a highway to hell.

[Jerry_Atrick]

If that's what hell is full of, I will take it over heaven...

[nomadpete]

Jerry, it's goin ta be a crowded party. What with all our friends joining us.

[Marty_d]

Reminds me of the guy who dies and finds himself in hell.

 

The devil, all dapper in a nice red suit and the latest chrome and carbon fibre pitchfork, meets him and takes him for a tour.

 

"We've got three areas in hell,"  he says genially.  "I'll show you each one, and you get to choose which one you want to spend eternity in."

 

So with an arm around the guy's shoulder, he leads him to the first area.  He opens a door and there's a massive room with a stone floor, with thousands of people silently standing on their heads.  It doesn't look all that comfortable.

 

Then the devil takes him to the next area.  He opens the door into another massive room, this time with a wooden floor.  Again, there's thousands of people standing on their heads.  "This looks slightly better..." he thinks.  "But still not great!"

 

So the devil takes him to the third area.  This time, the door opens into another massive room - but the floor is covered in raw sewage up to knee level.  It's also full of people, but in this room they're standing upright, sipping cups of coffee, having a biscuit and chatting to each other.

"Ok!" thinks the guy.  "The smell isn't great, but at least they're standing up and having a coffee!"

 

He turns to the devil.  "I'll take this room, please."

 

The devil grins, gives him a wink and says "Sure thing!  You are in this room for eternity."

 

So the guy walks in, wades over to the coffee machine and makes himself a cup.  Just as he's about to say hello to an attractive blonde, the massive demon overseeing the room bellows out...

 

"Ok you lot!  Coffee break's over.... BACK ON YOUR HEADS!!"

 

 

[nomadpete]

Sounds a bit like getting a job in parliament house.

[red750]

Flirting...

 

[red750]

[Jerry_Atrick]

That cannot be for real... but I wish it was...

[nomadpete]

[Marty_d]

10 hours ago, Jerry_Atrick said:

That cannot be for real... but I wish it was...

The dodgy panels on the "police car" give it away.

[onetrack]

1. U.S. Police cars all carry a lot more markings than that Sheriffs car.

2. No half-decently-trained U.S. trooper would simply tap on a window asking the "felon" to get out. They'd smash the window with their baton, and drag the felon out of the window opening bodily, before throwing them to the ground, and kneeling on their neck while they handcuffed them - all the time, screaming at the felon at the top of their voice.

Meantimes, 3 colleagues would have their firearms trained on the felon, in case they resisted. If the felon resisted, they'd all empty their magazines into the felon.

Of course, only 1 bullet would actually hit the felon, 4 would hit other officers, and 7 bystanders would be accidentally shot in the melee.

[Marty_d]

That sounds painful.  I don't want anyone shooting me in my melee.

[red750]

[Marty_d]

We used that one when I was on a tech support helpdesk - also PEBKAC (problem exists between keyboard and chair).