Grandpa's Christmas Woes

[old man emu]

I thought I was doing OK so far getting Christmas organised. The ham, pork, lamb and turkey have been bought and put away. The Christmas pudding is in the cupboard. The roast potatoes are in the freeze. There's three packets of Yorkshire pudding mix in the larder, and I spotted the Brussels Sprouts in the veggie section at Wollies.

 

Last weekend the Christmas tree came out of storage and was decorated, with the assistance of Old Ma Emu's guiding directions that would make a ground movement marshal's St Vitus' Dance movements seem co-ordinated. With a bit of luck, the Son will pop in to help me get the rest of the interior decorations from their storage place in the roof.

 

But I've hit a hurdle. Early in the Christmas present buying season, I picked up a Spiro-graph for my grandson. I believe in keeping the identity of Christmas and Birthday presents a secret from everybody to maintain the surprise. That means that gifts bought early have to be put away in a safe hiding place until they can be retrieved fro wrapping. And that's where I tripped up. I'm bug9ered if I can remember where I put the Spirograph. I've just about torn the house apart looking for it. I suppose it is hiding with the book we bought for the daughter a couple of Christmases ago and still haven't located.

 

 

[nomadpete]

Aldi can sell you a new spirograph. I doubt that many young people would know what it is used for, without training.

 

 

[storchy neil]

where did yah have it last its lost neil

 

 

[old man emu]

I knew where I had it last, I would know where it is now. It's in the house, somewhere, but Somewhere is over the rainbow.

 

 

[storchy neil]

bbbbbbut its still lost is what your saying hey I bought my daughter a birthday present a week before her birthday and hid in her wardrobe in her room that any help neil

 

 

[old man emu]

Looked in the grandson's room. Couldn't find it under the spread of toys.

 

 

[Litespeed]

Old man emu, can't help except to say f##k knows and he is a silent type.

 

But why do you have roast potato in freezer? Are they precooked?

 

And what is this Yorkshire pudding in a packet?

 

If it comes in a packet mix it is just as quick to make from scratch. Just like pancakes can be made just as quick as the shake bottle crud but have real ingredients. And don't get me started on gravy in a bottle......

 

Do not say you are not capable, a 5 year old can.

 

 

[old man emu]

By the time I have a 3 kg lump of pork, a leg of lamb and a turkey breast in the bar-b-que with the lid down, there's not much room for the vegetables. Besides, I don't have much luck at getting the vegetables roasted properly in the BBQ.

 

Yes, it is possible to make Yorkshires from scratch, but the packet mix has the ingredients in just the right proportions. You can't have a celebration roast without Yorkshires, although I did have a filled Yorky without the roast in a cafe in Lincoln. The yorky was shaped like a meat pie case without the lid. I'll have to use the kitchen oven to cook them, but I can also roast the potatoes and pumpkin at the same time. The brussells sprouts can boil up on the stove.

 

I think I'm doing alright, anyway. I made a cheese sauce for the cauliflower the other night and it wasn't lumpy. I might attempt a bechamel sauce for a lasagne, but I'll replace the bay leaf with a gum leaf.

 

 

[Litespeed]

OK forgiven- just

 

 

[old man emu]

Heaps to do today. The Chrissy decorations have to go up. But before that I decided that doing the grocery shopping early would be the go.

 

Old Ma Emu had a bit of a list made up after checking the Specials, and we added to it after an audit of the contents of the larder. Off I went with the shopping list.

 

After I got out of the shop, the thought came to me that the shopping list I left home with was similar to the piece of paper Chamberlain had when he left Munich. Both were documents recording on an agreed course of action, but both parties knew they would not stand up to the pressures of circumstance.

 

The spirograph is still "put away somewhere safe".

 

 

[storchy neil]

if yah cant find something that yah misplaced DONT GO SHOPPING if yah do wear a hat with a feather init so as the missing persons has a description neil

 

 

[old man emu]

if yah do wear a hat with a feather init neil

I don't want to look like that Yankee Doodle, Macaroni.

 

"Yankee Doodle" was sung by British troops during the French-Indian Wars of 1754 to 1763 to make fun of their stereotype of the American soldier as a Yankee simpleton who thought that he was stylish if he simply stuck a feather in his cap.

 

The term Doodle first appeared in English in the early seventeenth century and is thought to be derived from the Low German dudel, meaning "playing music badly", or Dödel, meaning "fool" or "simpleton". The Macaroni wig was an extreme fashion in the 1770s and became slang for being a fop.

 

Dandies were men who placed particular importance upon physical appearance, refined language, and leisure hobbies. A self-made dandy was a British middle-class man who impersonated an aristocratic lifestyle. They notably wore silk strip cloth, stuck feathers in their hats, and carried two pocket watches with chains—"one to tell what time it was and the other to tell what time it was not".

 

 

[Jerry_Atrick]

Packet yorkies - pah - may as well get the frozen variety...

 

Best Yorkshire puddings

 

Even I can make them and with farm fresh eggs rather than supermarket ones, they are a real treat..

 

Hope you find the spirograph!

 

 

[storchy neil]

nah he cant find it cause he aint alooking in the right place

 

try the washing machine cause that's were the director of finance finds my spanners nuts washers and bolts and screws (me nuts are going to screwed to wall )neil

 

 

[old man emu]

In an event that ranks up there with the finding of the Kookaburra or even the Southern Cloud, the missing Spirograph has been found!

 

After searching through every cupboard, drawer, wardrobe shelf, bookcase, suitcase and box in the house and garage,, search teams finally located the missing Spirograph in a birthday gift bag in the office cupboard. When the finding was reported to Chief of Operations, her comment was, "You had a man look, didn't you?"

 

 

[storchy neil]

"You had a man look, didn't you?" um uh oh i didn't know that your chief of operations knew my minister of finance in that case were both in trouble neil

 

 

[facthunter]

Yes, they Know everything about you after a while. By then it's too late. Nev

 

 

[old man emu]

"You had a man look, didn't you?" um uh oh i didn't know that your chief of operations knew my minister of finance in that case were both in trouble neil

They are both members of the War Cabinet.